The Path to Love and Compassion

I feel like a hippie talking about compassion and love, but maybe that's what I am.

There are some truly inspiring, selfless people in this world who give themselves with true love. How are they able to so selflessly give to others?

They love themselves.

They love themselves enough to be vulnerable. They are willing to be honest about their faults, discuss their fears, and own every aspect of themselves. As they grow more loving and accepting of themselves, they can spread it to others.

I've learned that "No one is going to love you if you don't love yourself." This isn't about being arrogant, it's about loving myself with true compassion and accepting those things that I lack. It's about accepting my sweating hands, anxiety, and inexperience with relationships.

Carl Jung theorized that we all have a "shadow," which are memories or thoughts we repress, hide, or deny. The shadow grows in darkness and through honesty and vulnerability, they shine the light on the shadow. People who love themselves have their shadow in front of them.

I don't have to start a charity or develop the cure for cancer. I can be present for my friends and strangers with so much love and compassion that it changes their life forever. I can inspire them to be more loving and compassionate with their loved ones.

Accept Everything About Yourself

I spent six months in Texas state prison because I didn't feel like a man. I did not have sex until I was 24 years old and I let that shame poison my decisions. I sidelined my moral values to feel loved and accepted by others.

For the first time in my life, I don't feel the need to prove myself as a man. A secret I could not tell my best friend four months ago is now on the Huffington Post. That love and acceptance for myself has allowed the love and compassion to spill out for others.

My Path to Compassion and Love

Vulnerability -- Out with it! In Brene Brown's second (and more profound) TED talk, she relates that we can't discuss vulnerability without shame. Vulnerability through her research is the key to connection. Love and compassion comes through connection.

Authenticity -- Being authentic with myself and others can be difficult. Sometimes it means stating that I don't want to speak to someone. It doesn't always come across as loving and compassionate, but it is done in that way. If I cannot be true to who I am and what I am feeling, am I really accepting myself?

Objectivity -- I used to think having two people in my mind was craziness. Now I realize it's just objectivity noticing the thoughts of my ego as opposed to higher consciousness. I've developed this by being more in my body than my mind. Listening to my intuition and feelings of my body as opposed to the egotistical thoughts that pervade my daily life.

Gratitude -- Having gratitude for everyone and everything understanding that it is all there for a purpose. I love the person who broke my heart. I'm so grateful to her because the universe knew I would fail over and over again in order to learn. Sometimes I have to write it down to remember how grateful I am. Start a daily gratitude journal if you have to.

Freedom -- It is hard to love others when I don't respect myself or what I do for a living. Being free from a profession or job I hate is one of the biggest motivators there is. There are so many resources to learn how to make money without a "real job," which gave me the freedom to start a business, find myself and what I truly desired.

I am not always in a perfect place of love and compassion. I'm human and I get frustrated, upset, and angry. Life weighs heavy and at times I don't love myself.

But I see the path to love and compassion and how to achieve it even if I must begin again every day.

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