Saturday 28 February 2015

Touching Photo Series Captures Dying Pit Bull's First And Last Time Seeing The Ocean

When a photographer's beloved pit bull got sick, she decided to take him on one last special trip so he could make a few more beautiful memories.

Zhenia Bulawka spent almost a decade with her cherished rescue dog, Mr. Dukes. But after falling ill, her pit bull found himself in the last stages of Grade III mast cell cancer last August, according to a blog post she wrote for The Dodo. While Mr. Dukes' favorite activity was swimming in pools, the canine had never been to the ocean. So for his final adventure, the photographer and her boyfriend decided to bring Mr. Dukes, along with the couple's other two dogs, Ruby and Violet, to see the ocean for the first time in Assateague, Maryland.

The trip was captured in a moving photo series.

duke
Bulawka and Ruby in the ocean.

"[Mr. Dukes'] initial reaction seemed to be intimidation -- as if he was confused by this endless 'swimming pool' which made so much noise," Bulawka told The Huffington Post of her pooch's first response to the ocean, but noted he became fascinated by what he saw. "He was transfixed. Perhaps he was mesmerized by the waves."

duke
Bulawka's boyfriend, Christian Valiente, sharing a dog-safe sandwich with Mr. Dukes.

Sadly, Mr. Dukes died a month after the trip. The photographer recently decided to share her photos series in a memorial blog post.

"Every moment spent with him was the best -- he was that cool ... Cherish every moment spent with loved ones -- be they two-legged or four," she told HuffPost in an email. "The memories created will be with you, always."

duke
Bulawka holding Violet, one of her dogs.

While losing her best friend was hard for the photographer, she says that photo project was a necessary undertaking. She wanted to both commemorate Mr. Dukes, while smashing the negative stereotypes regarding pit bulls.

"With so much stigma surrounding pit bull-type dogs, I just wanted to convey something that portrayed them in a positive light," she said. "They don't deserve mistreatment and are worthy of human love and kindness."

duke
Mr. Dukes and Ruby, who had their ears cropped before Bulawka rescued them, with Violet.

duke
Bulawka taking her dogs for a walk on the beach.

It's been a few months since Mr. Dukes' death, but Bulawka says that the memories of his big personality will never fade.

"Dukes loved life! He was the most eager to get the day started -- always on a mission," she said. "Dukes had so much purpose. He never let a second go to waste."

(Photo series continues below.)
duke
The view along the beach.

duke
Valiente relaxing with Ruby.

duke
Ruby, sleeping.

duke
Violet at the door.

duke
Bulawka's bracelet, featuring two dogs modeled off Mr. Dukes and Ruby.

duke
Bulawka on the beach with her three dogs.

dog
Valiente and Mr. Dukes on the beach.

To see Zhenia Bulawka's photo series in its original form, click here.

Like Us On Facebook
Follow Us On Twitter

Friday 27 February 2015

7 Ways to Your Dream Body Right Now

Why is it so easy to fall into the pattern of negative self-talk about our bodies? One look at the latest models on fashion show runways and some bad lighting in a fitting room and suddenly we have gone from walking tall to shrinking under our puffiest down coat. It happens to the best of us, even the women on the actual runway themselves. We are all susceptible to negative self-talk, but the quicker we can learn to shift those thoughts back to the positive track the more we will stay on course to truly show up shining for every moment in our lives. Here are seven ways to instantly show yourself some love and celebrate your shape.

2015-02-26-ceaf0f_93296559b3c54dc7aad01865a353fa44.jpg_srz_474_646_75_22_0.50_1.20_0.00_jpg_srz.jpeg

1. Lift weights -- It is easy to get stuck in the rut of long, punishing sessions on the elliptical trainer or stair master. I've been there, trying to burn off last night's dinner or dessert or get in shape for swimsuit season. Cardio exercise is an important part of a workout regimen, but instead of focusing on shrinking yourself, think about how you can take up some space in the world with your strengths and start a weight training routine. The more you focus on what your body can do rather than what shape or size it is, the more you will appreciate it. The weight room at any gym can admittedly be intimidating, especially if you feel like you don't know what you are doing. If you are a weight training novice take a group class at your gym, try CrossFit or find a circuit training studio. You will find inner strength you never knew you had and you may be surprised at your extra superpowers that develop outside of the gym as well.

2. Phone a friend -- Or even better, get outside and go for a power walk together. Nothing lifts the spirit quite like spending time with someone who reminds you that you are not alone in this world. Female friends give the incredible gift of nurturing, supporting and uplifting one another. They remind us we are worthy, just because we are here.

3. Drop the guilt -- Often times we overindulge on food or drinks and immediately feel guilty, rather than truly enjoying the splurge. By pouring guilt all over our moment of decadence we don't even give ourselves a chance to savor it and are more likely to feel the urge to repeat it again the next day. The guilt won't erase what happened. If you eat some fries or choose to have dessert, truly taste and enjoy. Be grateful for the food you are so lucky to have access to. Forgive yourself for your judgments and get back on track.

4. Toss the scale -- Scales don't measure muscle or strength or endurance or flexibility. Who wants to attach their self-worth to a number anyway? As long as you are eating healthy foods, getting regular exercise and feeling good in your clothes there is no reason not to celebrate your body. Do your clothes fit? Are you getting enough sleep? How is your stress level? These are all more important questions to know the answers to then the number on the scale.

5. Practice yoga and meditation -- when we bring our body and mind to a state of peace, it is easier to be kind to ourselves and the world around us. It becomes easier to feed ourselves nourishing food and get the exercise our body craves. With a quiet mind we create the space for self-love. Often times women think they will love themselves once they get to their ultimate size or fitness goal, but one is not conditioned on the other. The more we love ourselves right now, the easier the journey is.

6. Choose your media -- Nobody looks like the girl in the magazine, even her. Photoshop is used in everything now, to erase anything from a pimple to several inches on a persons midsection or thigh. It is important to remember this when looking at any mainstream media. Find positive and healthy people to follow on Instagram like @mykindoflife_em, @aldawomen and @ _theshift_. Did you see the unretouched photo leaks of Cindy Crawford and Beyonce lately? This shouldn't be news, it's just what women really look like.

7. Accept yourself -- I know, easier said than done, however the faster we can learn and love the kind of body we have, the quicker we can be to take care of it for optimal health and wellbeing. Some things like cellulite and long second toes may not be ideal but everyone has something they are better off accepting then spending precious time trying to change. If we can focus on how to be the best version of the body we have we are able to enjoy the gifts we were given, like amazing hair and the ability to stand on our head. If you don't know what type of body you have been given naturally, spend a day eating only what would truly make you feel full and nourished and take note of what those foods are. Ask yourself what form of movement would actually be fun and make you laugh and want to do it again the next day? These are all clues to your lasting health, enjoyment and wellbeing.

Erin Henry is contributing on behalf of www.theshiftmovement.com.

A Letter to the New Big Sister

Dear Kennedy,

Things abruptly changed for you about six months ago when your little sister got out of mommy's belly and came home from the hospital with us. You were used to having mommy and daddy all to yourself. You and I spent all summer together. We went to the library, Chick-fil-A, played with friends and watched a little too much TV. It was a blast.

No matter the amount of talks and "big sister" books we read, it probably didn't prepare you for what was to come. All of a sudden, there was a tiny little baby in our house. The baby was loud -- probably much louder than you anticipated. The baby was always being held, and the baby always needed mommy.

If this upset you, it was hard to tell. You embody grace, especially for such a big girl who's 3 years old. Even though you showed a big interest in the baby, you continued your life as usual and you didn't seem to mind that the baby needed a lot of attention.

This had to be hard on you. I know it was. I know this because you had trouble in other areas, like using the potty. It was your one thing you could hold on to for control, and I guess I don't blame you. But, you never seemed jealous or upset with mommy and daddy.

I'm a big sister, too. Sometimes, there's a lot of pressure on us to set an example, not act like a baby and try new things to show that we are so big and so independent. Sometimes, we just have to be flexible, whether we like it or not. Sometimes, we get less attention and less praise. Big sisters have a tough job, but you were cut out for it. You've got this.

Now that your little sister has been with us for a little over six months, you use the potty like a big girl, and you are becoming so independent. The struggles you were having before seem to be no more. That doesn't mean life is easy from here on out, but I have a feeling you will handle those with that same grace.

Kennedy, you need to know that we are proud of you. I don't tell you this enough. You have a kind spirit, a hilarious sense of humor, a vocabulary that amazes me daily and the potential to be anything.

Most importantly, you have love. I realized this the other day when the first thing you asked from waking up from your nap was, "Where is Caroline?" Then later, you sat there and hugged her face with gusto (maybe a little too much gusto). And a little bit later, you found such joy feeding her puffs. Your little sister smiles from ear to ear when she sees your face, and always looks for you when she hears your voice. Even though I'm her mommy, I have a feeling that you're her favorite person.

Want to know why?

It's because of the love that radiates out of you. In the future, I know you will probably dislike her for taking your toys or borrowing your clothes. There may be some days or years that you aren't very good friends. But she's your sister. And this love right now? Promise me you'll always carry it in your heart.

Keep shining, sweet Kennedy. I adore you!

Love,

Mommy

2015-02-27-kc2.jpg



This post originally appeared on Meg O. on the Go. To keep up with Meg, you can follow her on Facebook or Instagram.

Thursday 26 February 2015

Ask the Expert: Which Yoga Poses Prevent Lower-Back Pain?

Answers to your questions about detoxifying yoga, back pain, digestive distress, and more. I switched to a standing desk, but […]

The post Ask the Expert: Which Yoga Poses Prevent Lower-Back Pain? appeared first on Yoga Journal.

Daily Meditation: Equanimity

We all need help maintaining our personal spiritual practice. We hope that these Daily Meditations, prayers and mindful awareness exercises can be part of bringing spirituality alive in your life.

Today's meditation features a performance of Frédéric Chopin's Nocturne Opus 9 No. 2 by well-known pianist Valentina Lisitsa. The delicate melody eases us into a state of peace and equanimity, which we could all use more of.

Wednesday 25 February 2015

Depression's Peculiar Grip on Black LGBTQs

Remember Raymond Chase, Aiyisha Hassan, and Joseph Jefferson? All three were so depressed that they committed suicide.

Raymond was a 19-year-old, openly gay student majoring in culinary arts at Johnson & Wales University in Providence, Rhode Island. On Sept. 29, 2010, he hanged himself in his dorm room.

Just a few days later, on Oct. 4, 2010, Aiyisha, 19, also took her own life. According to an Oct. 23, 2010, ChicagoNow blog post by Lenox Magee:

"She was having a lot of trouble with a lot of different things, but mainly her sexual identity and just trying to express that," says 21-year-old Lauren Morris, a fourth-year student at Howard, who lived in the same building as Hassan from 2008-2009. Hassan was a former biology student at D.C.'s Howard University.


Joseph, 26, a New York City resident and graduate of Harvey Milk High, was a gay youth activist. He was HIV-positive, and it has been reported that he was especially prone to depression and experienced a variety of financial setbacks -- as well as his father's disapproval of his sexuality. On Oct. 23, 2010, the day Joseph killed himself by hanging, he posted the following on his Facebook page:

I could not bear the burden of living as a gay man of color in a world grown cold and hateful towards those of us who live and love differently than the so-called "social mainstream."


The most salient characteristic that these young people had in common was their race. They were Black.

I'm writing this multi-part series to shine a bright light on depression's disproportionate impact on Black LGBTQ persons. As one who's suffered from this illness throughout periods of his life, I can attest to its near-crippling effects.

But before I share my personal experiences and why and how depression can be more prevalent among Black LGBTQ individuals, let's define the illness. There are several types of depression, but I'll discuss the two considered to be the most prevalent: major depressive disorder (MDD) and persistent depressive disorder (PDD).

Let's talk MDD. According to WebMD:

You might have this type if you feel depressed most of the time for most days of the week.

Some other symptoms you might have are:

  • Loss of interest or pleasure in your activities

  • Weight loss or gain

  • Trouble getting to sleep or feeling sleepy during the day

  • Feelings of being "sped up" or "slowed down"

  • Being tired and without energy

  • Feeling worthless or guilty

  • Trouble concentrating or making decisions

  • Thoughts of suicide


Now on to PDD. WebMD states:

If you have depression that lasts for 2 years or longer, it's called persistent depressive disorder. It used to be known as dysthymia.

You may have symptoms such as:

  • Change in your appetite (not eating enough or overeating)

  • Sleep too much or too little

  • Lack of energy, or fatigue

  • Low self-esteem

  • Trouble concentrating or making decisions

  • Feel hopeless


Are LGBTQ individuals more prone to mental-health issues -- including depression -- than the general population? A United Kingdom study published last September in the Journal of General Internal Medicine found that at least for lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals, this is indeed so. According to a Care2 post by Steve Williams:

This research, which is the largest of its kind to assess sexual minority groups in this manner, confirmed what smaller studies have repeatedly shown: that LGB people are far more likely to suffer from certain mental health problems like depression and anxiety, as well as being more prone to substance abuse.


So just why might LGB individuals be more prone to depression? Williams explains that it's not our sexual orientation itself but how society treats us as a result of our sexual orientation:

[E]arly and sustained periods of stress can make people more likely to develop a range of adult mental health problems, including anxiety and depression. Stigma and discrimination surrounding LGBT identity is certainly one factor here.


Next up: the beginnings of my experience with this beast named depression (which can be both insidious and in-your-face), and an exploration of its peculiar grip on Black LGBTQs.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Wyatt O'Brian Evans' website is wyattevans.com.

Tuesday 24 February 2015

What I Learned During Our Week of Doing Nothing

This past week was the mid-winter break, and we were all home. There were a couple days of snow, temperatures below freezing, and for two days, the car was in the shop. We got out to the movies once, and to an indoor play gym, but for most of it, we were stuck at home.

There was probably a bit more TV watching than there should have been.

2015-02-22-tvangel.jpg


We did a couple of science experiments, all of which involved cornstarch and dish soap.

2015-02-22-moondough.jpg

And some brownie-making. And brownie-batter-licking.

2015-02-22-brownie.jpg


But if you asked what we did all week, I would have said, "ummmm, nothing."

Can I tell you how much I loved it? This week of nothing was one of my favorite "vacations." On my Facebook feed were pictures of families in tropical places, enjoying the sun and the outdoors, and although I was definitely envious, I really liked being homebound with my family.

A couple of times I noticed myself feeling critical. I wondered if I should have taken advantage of this rare time we all had together, with few obligations and plans. Should we have taken the kids to a museum in the city, a Broadway show? Should we have done more art projects, played more board games, baked a few more batches of brownies? Should I have tried to exercise more? Should I have written more? What could I do to give this precious time together more meaning?

Then, I let those thoughts go. And I let the days go. But I sunk myself into them. The baby playing cars on the floor (he's currently obsessed), the big boy rereading every book in the house (he's a certified bookworm). All of us laughing and tickling each other on the bed. My husband and me staying up "late," catching up on Girls and The Mindy Project.

2015-02-22-10407800_10153111635244515_3332912624850281543_n.jpg


Seriously, what more is there than this? Being together with the people I love most. That's all there is in this world, really.

But there is this pressure in our culture right now to do with your kids. To have something to show for your time together. Should we blame Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest? Should we blame the media? The Mommy Wars? Each other? I don't know. But the pressure is there.

I feel it when my son tells me he doesn't want to continue with Little League. Or basketball. Or piano lessons. When he says he'd like to come home after school each day and just do nothing, and I wonder if I should make him "do something." I feel the need to say, "Well, that's fine, but it would be good for you to have something outside of school. A passion. Something to try."

Does he really need to add anything to his schedule of school and home? Does this boy, this 8-year-old child -- whose passions range from reading to book-writing to video-game-creating to hula-hooping -- does he really need to do anything else but be himself?

Let him -- let us -- have as much goddamn nothing as we want. Let us be ourselves. Let us seek out the other stuff when we want it, when we're ready. I think we could all use a whole lot less doing, and a whole lot more being.

And faith. Faith that life is full enough on its own. And that we have no one to impress. Despite how it feels, no one is watching us as much as we are watching ourselves. No one can tell us what we need or how we should fill our days. Only we can. We have that power. Let's use it for happiness. For enjoying the most ordinary of our days. Life is shorter than we realize. It makes no sense to live it any other way than with authenticity and in the simple presence of the ones we love.

So, I give you permission to do nothing. As a parent. As a family. As a person. Just be there -- with yourself, with each other -- and the rest will come together on its own.

2015-02-22-guitar.jpg


This post originally appeared on wendywisner.com.

Wendy Wisner is a mom, writer, and lactation consultant (IBCLC). Follow Wendy on Facebook and Twitter.




Like Us On Facebook |
Follow Us On Twitter |
Contact HuffPost Parents


Also on HuffPost:



The Dos and Don'ts of Planning a Wellness Retreat

During these icy days, you may be feeling an urge to retreat. Wellness retreats have become a source of respite for many people who are in the yoga community. Yoga travel is a safe way for women to travel alone and a wonderful way to have a healthy vacation. Lately, it's not uncommon to see different kinds of wellness professionals or even office groups organizing wellness retreats. Are you on your way to organizing a retreat?

2015-02-21-alikaukas0167.jpg

Whether you are a wellness professional organizing your first retreat or an office manager/HR professional looking to take your company's next off-site to the next level, this advice will be useful. Offering a wellness retreat is a fantastic way to see the world while taking some serious time to de-stress and do some self-reflection. However, organizing a retreat, especially to an international destination, can be a very difficult.

That's why I've interviewed Ben Crosky and Dan Wilz, co-founders of Yogascapes, a company that organizes off-the-beaten-path yoga travel adventures. By taking over important details like space and other logistics, they help trip leaders to create a better retreat. Their advice comes from years of experience, and is super helpful to anyone attempting to organize a retreat, especially for the first time.

Below, you'll find the inside scoop on the dos and don'ts of planning a wellness retreat. Read these experts' advice, and be on your way to leading a blissful wellness retreat!

Bring someone to help you coordinate:

It will be incredibly difficult to plan activities while at the same time checking in and making sure attendees are having a good experience. If you're thinking about organizing your retreat without the help of a travel company, Dan Wilz recommends bringing along someone to be responsible for logistical parts of the trip, such as food, transport, and money. That way, you as the leader can focus on bringing wellness to your participants.

Yogascapes co-founder Ben Crosky described how the company was created to fill this need and help retreat leaders focus on giving the best experience to participants. "We coordinate meals and make sure all dietary needs are taken care of, schedule transfers and transportation, confirm and reconfirm timing of activities, and do customer service and problem solving. It can be helpful to have someone there to help organize the finances for things like hotels, activities, and food costs."

Do bring a person to help with logistical duties, or bring a co-leader to take on some of the responsibility of the retreat so you can enjoy yourself a little. Don't try and do everything by yourself!

2015-02-21-alikaukas0164.jpg


Build a relationship with the people who will be running the space:

Ben emphasized that the relationship with the people who run the hotel or retreat center can be the most valuable: They shape the experience, as participants will be interacting with the staff and the venue on a daily basis. He recommends to go down a few days early, especially if you haven't been there before, to connect with the staff and area. "When your relationship with the venue and the staff is healthy, the retreat leader and all of the participants feel like they are being welcomed home, and in the art of travel, feeling welcomed home is as valuable as it gets."

Do: Have clear communication. Write about your retreat and link to the venue. Pay on time. Sell out your retreat! When rooms are filled retreat centers are happy.

Don't: do things last minute. Don't act from a place of entitlement rather than gratitude.

2015-02-21-alikaukas04381.jpg

Create a safe space:

Dan emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for people to enter and be themselves. Retreat participants won't be able to come out of their shell and really relax unless they feel safe in the space. As the trip leader, make an effort to help everyone feel comfortable.

Do make sure everyone is prepared and feels taken care of, listened to, and safe. "Sometimes even going on a 'retreat' with your team can be a stressful experience so it's important to have the 'retreat' itself be something that people leave feeling more stress free than when they came."

If you're planning a corporate retreat, Ben suggests:

Don't call it an off-site or team building retreat.

Do call it an adventure, or a trip, or an escape. Create different language around your wellness retreats so that people look forward to it.

Explore outside your retreat center

Why travel to a gorgeous destination to spend the entire time on one property? Ben describe his "off-the-beaten-mat" approach to retreats: Take participants off the mat, into the culture. "Add multiple activities so that people don't feel overwhelmed by the wellness component but rather intrigued by it. "

It's important that people feel they've experienced the space and culture of where they've traveled to. Whether you're going to a hideaway a few hours from home, or traveling to the other side of the world, make sure that you don't spend the entire time doing wellness activities. Add a component of exploration and adventure, and people will have a more memorable experience. As Dan says, "Our nightmare is to travel and have to be stuck in a yoga studio all day."

2015-02-21-alikaukas0642.jpg


Keep the fun going after the trip ends

So you've had an amazing retreat with a group of office mates or meditation students.
Do keep the culture you created alive. Email chains, hashtags, and photo sharing sites are all great ways to keep in touch. Who knows, maybe you'll all go on another wellness retreat together soon!

Good luck planning your retreat!

Want to learn more? Read The 10 Ways to Get the Most Out of your Yoga Retreat. Photos by Ali Kaukas for Yogascapes.

Daily Meditation: Poetry Of Earth

We all need help maintaining our personal spiritual practice. We hope that these Daily Meditations, prayers and mindful awareness exercises can be part of bringing spirituality alive in your life.

Today's meditation features a piece by iconic English poet John Keats. The poem conjures the potency of nature, celebrating the "poetry of earth" which never dies.

nature

On the Grasshopper and Cricket by John Keats

The Poetry of earth is never dead:
When all the birds are faint with the hot sun,
And hide in cooling trees, a voice will run
From hedge to hedge about the new-mown mead;
That is the Grasshopper’s—he takes the lead
In summer luxury,—he has never done
With his delights; for when tired out with fun
He rests at ease beneath some pleasant weed.
The poetry of earth is ceasing never:
On a lone winter evening, when the frost
Has wrought a silence, from the stove there shrills
The Cricket’s song, in warmth increasing ever,
And seems to one in drowsiness half lost,
The Grasshopper’s among some grassy hills.

Yoga Teachers, Overcome Fear and Competitive Feelings

Register for the free Business of Yoga webinar with tips for facing your fears and insight from special guests Sianna Sherman and Ashley Turner on Monday, March 2nd.

The post Yoga Teachers, Overcome Fear and Competitive Feelings appeared first on Yoga Journal.

Monday 23 February 2015

Build Upper Body Strength for Chaturanga and Arm Balances

Try this arm-strength yoga pose from Justin Michael Williams to master Chaturanga and work up to arm balances like Crow Pose.

The post Build Upper Body Strength for Chaturanga and Arm Balances appeared first on Yoga Journal.

How to Never Feel Burned Out Ever Again

By Jenna Birch, SELF

Do you ever feel like you've got so much on your plate that you're not getting anything done? How about that feeling that you're accomplishing a lot in the here and now but haven't really touched your long-term goals yet?

If you want to get your energies in line with your values in 2015, we've tapped the talents of psychiatrist Kristen Carpenter, Ph.D, director of women's behavioral health at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, for a little help. Here are eight steps to take right now for more balance and less stress as you work toward crossing some major milestones.

1. Realign Your Time With Your Goals
Don't get burnt out with activities that will not fulfill you. "Resources of time and energy are finite, and yet we always have demands on our time," says Carpenter. "Keep some sort of calendar or planner, so you can track how you are spending your time. How you spend your time should be in line with your values and goals. If it's not, you need to restructure your schedule to closer reflect that."

2. Note Two Symptoms of Burnout
Carpenter says you should take notice of two symptoms that you're scattered or maxed out this year: "If you feel like you're falling behind, or you're not doing anything particularly well, that's a big sign you're overbooked," she says. "If this is the case, you need to scale back." Make a list of your obligations and activities, and decide what's most important.

3. Be Mindful of Your Yeses
Notice what you're taking on and to which tasks you're saying yes, says Carpenter. "This is hard for us, but if it's not helping you reach your goals in life, then it's just eating up time," Carpenter says. Instead of jumping the gun with an immediate yes, earn to say no, or simply delay your yeses by saying, "I'd like to do this, but I need to see what I have on my plate right now." This allows you to consider: Am I doing this to be a team player, or because it will move me toward my goals? If it's just because you feel like you should, it's an opportunity to say no when you've got a lot going on. If you defer the decision, really evaluate it, it's a little easier to say no -- and not overwhelm your schedule with obligations.

4. Shut Down (Your Gadgets)
Don't be so accessible all the time, says Carpenter. "This is hard for women, especially as they're growing their careers," she explains. "But you must keep work confined in some way, in however you define your workday." Maybe you ignore your emails and texts from 6 to 10 p.m. every day, she says, or you shut down everything at 10 p.m. to recharge until the next morning. "This will help keep you balanced," says Carpenter.

5. Call Time Out For an Hour
Think about it this way: Make yourself take some time every week that's just for you, and it must total one hour at minimum. "Even if it's just simple meditation, organizing, or getting brief a workout in during a crazy week," Carpenter says. "Maybe it's just 15 minutes a week, four days a week. If you don't step back, you won't notice where you can be more efficient."

6. Don't Just Work, Work, Work
More and more, a lot of young women are developing an all-energy-here, no-energy-there approach to their lives, Carpenter explains. Don't throw all your eggs into the career basket, if you know that someday you'd like a family. "Evaluate what your goals are long-term, both personally and in your career," says Carpenter. "You can have it all, but not all at the same time. Ask yourself, 'When will marriage be important?' or 'When will kids be important?'" Like you did with your career as you decided what to study in college and which jobs to apply for, you have to plan ahead.

7. Know When to Shift Your Focus
If you focus on your career in your 20s, be ready to accelerate your timeline in your 30s if you want marriage and kids, says Carpenter. "It can be done, but know what to expect," says Carpenter. "A lot of women underestimate how hard it is to develop their personal lives when they hit this stretch in their early and mid-30s, and then find a partner. If you want to find someone or have kids, shelving this part of your life completely is not a strategy I'd recommend." Time will pass you by, so keep up with dating in your 20s and realize your options in your 30s -- like online dating, setups with friends of friends, and hitting up gatherings where you know there will be new people with whom you can mix and mingle.

8. Keep Goals Manageable
Sure, we'd all like to climb Everest, go skydiving, meet the love of our lives, get the promotion and finally write down novel idea we've been holding onto since our college days. That said, too many goals means you may not reach any of them. "It will be overwhelming," says Carpenter. "Keep it to two per category -- personal, professional and family or relationship -- and no more. Any more than that, and it won't really stick." So, if you made a lot of resolutions, circle back to your list and decide which are most important to you this year. Cross off a few, kick butt on the biggies now, and you can reevaluate in 2016.

More from SELF:
Up Your Metabolism With These 10 Superstar Foods
6 Moves To Resize Your Butt and Thighs
How to Make More Time for Yourself This Year
A 20-Minute Body Weight Routine Even the Busiest Woman Has Time For
The 10 Best Stretches For Better Flexibility
We All Know the Real Reason You Remember These Red Carpet Gowns...

Sunday 22 February 2015

People With Disabilities Can Easily Find Accessible Spots With This App

Inspired by his own experiences, a filmmaker has created an app to help people with disabilities.

Jason Da Silva was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a disease that affects the central nervous system, in 2006, and uses a motorized scooter to get around, according to Mashable. As a filmmaker based in New York City, he quickly discovered that it wasn't so easy for people with disabilities to maneuver around the city.

"It was very frustrating," Da Silva told Mashable back in 2013. "I was finding that the freedoms that I had -- just simple things like meeting up with friends and things, it was becoming more and more difficult."

With these challenges in mind, Da Silva created the AXS Map, a crowdsourced mobile app and website powered by Google Maps, that allows people with disabilities to find accessible spots. Users rate and review the wheelchair accessibility of restaurants, stores, hotels and other places.

The app launched in 2012, and Alice Cook, Da Silva's wife and executive director of his nonprofit, AXS Lab, told Fast Company that it will eventually have a social feature. Da Silva and his team also host "mapathons" during which people are invited to get together to rate and review locations.

The filmmaker told Time.com that the ratings and reviews aspect of his app is crucial. While the 1990 Americans With Disabilities Act required businesses to become more accessible for people with disabilities, he said that in reality, this isn't always the case. The reviews allow people to note specific details about the accessibility of a certain location, and then lets others know about those nuances.

Ultimately, Da Silva told Time, he hopes that his work can help more people understand the obstacles that those with disabilities face.

"People without disabilities don’t realize all the challenges that we face, like, 'is a restroom accessible? Is there one small step outside a restaurant that would keep us from being able to get in?" Da Silva told the outlet. "Opening up the ratings to the community is an attempt to bridge the gap between people living with mobility issues and the larger communities that we live in."

To learn more about AXS Map, visit its website here, or check out Da Silva's nonprofit, AXS Lab here.



Like Us On Facebook
Follow Us On Twitter

Saturday 21 February 2015

12 Things You May Not Remember About Who You Really Are

1. You are ever-expanding.
The Universe is always expanding and as a piece of the Universe, you are also ever-expanding, giving birth to new ideas, desires and dreams.

The problem is you are taught from a young age to squash your desires and conform to the status quo and the expectations of others.

The gap between what your soul really wants and the conformist way you are living your life creates huge internal unrest and unhappiness.

2. Your purpose is to be you.
You are not here simply to buy a large house, get in shape, get to the top of a career ladder and pull together a wedding. While accomplishing your goals and dreams can be a rewarding and beautiful part of your life, it is just the icing on the cake.

Your true purpose is to be you -- your own unique blend of passions, interests, ideas, quirks and gifts. Your mission is to discover more about who you are, to love yourself and others at the deepest level, to experience joy and happiness, and to learn and grow into the highest embodiment of you. Mission accepted?

3. You are the essence beneath your labels and titles.
You may take on many titles, labels and roles in your life, but do not confuse them with your true identity. Your true essence is deep and unchanging.

You can be the CEO of a company or unemployed, married or single, fit or unhealthy, happy or depressed, but you are still the same you. Your spirit endures.

4. You are eternal.
Your energy existed before you were here in this physical body, and your energy will continue to exist after you have finished experiencing life in this physical body.

5. You have the power to create your world.
You are the author of your life story and you hold the pen. Start by getting clearer on what you want, and choosing thoughts, words and actions that support your desires.

6. You are naturally entitled to wellbeing, happiness, love and abundance.
You are not meant to feel tired, broke, unloved, unhappy and anxious all the time. This is what happens when you are trapped by limiting beliefs, frozen by fear and stubbornly ignoring your inner spirit and it's burning desires.

You are love, peace and happiness. It's just buried under layers of self-loathing, false perception and fear.

7. Everything in life is a lesson you were meant to learn.
You are here to grow into the highest embodiment of yourself, and you cannot do that without learning certain lessons from life. See your life experiences as lessons you needed to learn to blossom into your best self.

But be aware -- if you don't learn the lesson, you will continue to experience the same pain, conflicts and negative outcomes over and over again.

8. You are perfect just as you are.
You are as the Universe created you -- so who are you to judge that you're not good enough, beautiful enough, talented enough or deserving? You may make mistakes as you navigate the world, but it doesn't make you inherently bad.

You may have caught a glimpse of your true divine nature when you've been dancing, creating, making love, laughing, watching a sunset or lost in the flow of doing something you love.

9. Your natural state is love.
If you could break the habit of continuously judging and criticizing, labeling people and putting them in boxes, you would become aware of the same light shining within every single one of us. You would open yourself up to more love and become love itself.

10. You are much safer than you think.
Your fears and worries about the world are like a horror movie projection in your mind -- they are not real.

Your true self is strong, secure and invulnerable. It cannot be harmed by other people's opinions or external circumstances.

11. The world is a reflection of you.
You see what you expect to see, and you get back the energy you put out.

If you start expecting more love, friendliness, open-heartedness, support, abundance and success -- and start embodying these qualities yourself -- you will immediately encounter them flooding into your life.

12. You have access to all the answers you seek.
If you could learn to trust in yourself and listen to your inner voice and intuition, you would be amazed at the infinite storehouse of wisdom, guidance and ideas you possesses.

Access the answers you seek through prayer, meditation, journaling or asking the Universe for signs.

Elyse is a writer and coach at NotesOnBliss.com and the creater of the Beautiful Life Bootcamp eCourse, a six-week guide to connecting with your soul, creating your desires and daily happiness. For updates and inspiration, sign up now.

Friday 20 February 2015

Can You See With Your Heart's Eye?

Every human shape, color, and gender
Came forth from the will of a tender power
When the heart's eye is seeing a person truly --
We then appreciate each being as one of beauty.

2015-02-12-IMG_3507.JPG

Spring cleansing for the soul begins this Valentine's month with making awareness of the many ways we create maladies through distorted vision. Along with being the month for romantic lovers, February hosts Ethnic Equality, Black History and Eating Disorder Awareness and is followed by International Women's Day emphasizing gender equality in early March.

Biases, whether based on skin color, body shapes, genders or other factors, are the deep root of personal and social problems. Preconceptions act like distorted eye glasses giving us a false perception of what we have in front of us: a person, a group, or our own self image. We can miss out on a meaningful personal relationship or can feed hostility towards self and others.

Lover relationships can be ruined by beliefs that "all men think this" or "all women do that." Friendships are aborted by preconceptions. Fake images inspire harmful behavior. Viewing the world from the images the mind fabricates can cause real damage, if not countered by the vision of the heart's eye.

One example of false perception is the fatal disease of eating disorders. Preschoolers to adults develop self-destructive behavior from distorted body and self-image. Many people "had no idea that the perfect images I see every day are digital illusions," National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) elaborates.

"Once Kate Moss posed for Calvin Klein, there was a new trend where all models selected to look like her, with their bones sticking out. To be thin enough, models had to be anorexic," explains Adi Barkan, fashion photographer, modeling agent and founder of "Simply You -- Monitoring Body Image Perception," an organization focused on ending distorted body image.

Failing to see one's natural beauty is hijacked by images and messages that fill our minds. "Ninety percent of beauty is between the ears. It's an inside job," says Retha Powers in Dark Girls. The intellectual mind can be cruel in interpreting our value according to skin tone, body shape and gender.

The mind can be filled with "thought terrorists" that reframe natural images into "not good enough," "bad" or "evil" -- thus turning us against our selves and others. In contrast, the heart's eye perceives the natural splendor of each person.

How to strengthen your heart's eye:

1. Fast from preconceptions.
Observe with innocent awe, as when you were an infant. Allow yourself to feel ignorant -- humble. Ask questions. By doing so you keep an open space to learn truth. When your mind is filled with preconceptions there is "no room at the inn" for real understanding.

2. Use your intellect to serve your heart, not harm it.
Keep your heart's desire first. You may need to meditate in stillness to recapture the light, truth and hope within your heart to know its desire. Once you see it, keep that vision as your focus, and use your intellect to deal with the current situation while maintaining the direction towards fulfilling your heart's desire.

3. Appreciate and value everything as an expression of love.
Face it -- you do not know everything about love. Each situation is an opportunity to expand your knowledge, because true knowing comes from having lived it. Use the wisest words of truth that you can find to guide you through each situation. Then you will know a greater love.

As the love messages of Valentines arrive, develop true sight by strengthening the heart's eye. See with compassion, respect and beauty. The spring-cleaning of soul starts with keen sight. With a strong heart's eye we can see our beauty, know ourselves and live joyfully.

Is Health Information That Focuses On Lifestyle Management Helpful?

Does reading an article or listening to a health professional discuss eating, sleeping or exercising translate into meaningful change? The fact that people have gotten heavier and sicker at a time when health information is virtually everywhere suggests that knowledge, in and of itself, is not useful at all.

Let's explore this supposition by the reviewing the latest research concerning the aforementioned macro elements of lifestyle management, beginning with eating.

In December 2014 an article published in the journal, Cell Metabolism, and reported in The New York Times suggested that -- when you eat is more important than how much you eat. Briefly, the researchers discovered that mice that were restricted to daily feeding periods of nine or 12-hours remained sleek and healthy. Those that ate the same amount of food, but could eat anytime, became obese.

Apparently, meal times have more effect on circadian rhythm than dark and light cycles, according to Dr. Panda, the lead researcher. And circadian rhythm in turn affects the function of many genes in the body that are known to involve metabolism. The message is clear: if you compress eating into a shorter time period, you will burn more calories and lose weight. With late night eating being a major problem, one would assume that people that came across this information would utilize it. In all probability, they won't. Why?

First, employing this approach is a bit more complicated than other kinds of weight loss strategies such as eating less junk carbs or counting points like Weight Watchers. Those are one note strategies and easy to understand. The "time frame eating strategy" (my term) forces one to: 1) calculate how many hours you typically eat from first bite to last, 2) compute in calories how much you typically consume and, 3) make sure you don't exceed the 12-hour time limit. For most people, there are simply too many moving parts. Moreover, when you factor in how powerful an addiction late night emotional eating is, well, you get the idea.

The most recent -- and controversial -- bit of news concerning exercise was a Danish study reported by both the BBC and The New York Times. In brief, the research suggested that too much exercise -- in this case jogging -- was as bad as no exercise at all. It found that light to moderate jogging was associated with living longer compared with being sedentary, but strenuous exercise was not.

The Danish study has been attacked by a host of exercise experts on everything from the sizes of the groups being compared to the conclusions drawn. What matters most, however, is the headline because that's what tends to be remembered. In general, people distort and/or delete information in order to make themselves more comfortable with their behavior. So when people hear "strenuous jogging is as bad as doing no exercise," it only serves to reinforce inactivity by making people less anxious about not exercising.

Finally, sleep made some headlines at the beginning of February. The National Sleep Foundation came out with their new guidelines. We now have nine categories and some minor shifts in the sleep range for some. It seems this information is the most sort after on the Foundation's web site. This makes sense since sleep deprivation, like obesity, has reached epidemic levels.

But is knowing how sleep deprived you are really going to motivate you to change your lifestyle? Again, the answer is unlikely. If last year's most important sleep headline -- sleep cleans your brain and helps prevent Alzheimer's disease -- didn't have much of an impact in getting people's attention, then sleep guidelines stand no chance at all.

So where does that leave us? How can we raise the level of organic intelligence, so that a useful confluence occurs between information and behavior? But first, however, we need to know what went wrong?

Organic intelligence is wired into our DNA. Infants sleep, eat and move automatically. There is no overeating, sleep deprivation or intentional inactivity. Internal sensory information governs a child's behavior. Over time, due to a lack of feedback that labels and reinforces awareness of these states, sensory blindness occurs. Children lose their capacity to know when they're hungry, full, tired or need to be active.

Developing a program to access organic intelligence is a herculean task, but worth speculating about. So let's create a hypothetical website focusing on how it might be structured.

First, you need some way to monitor behavior. Fitness trackers are the obvious choice since they can provide both baseline data and subsequent changes in calories consumed, steps taken and hours slept. These numbers would be uploaded onto the site each day and continually monitored.

Second, videos as well as live seminars would be available focusing on sensory awareness so that the rhythms of hunger, sleep and exercise become part of conscious experience.

Third, courses providing additional information (e.g. foods that maximize immune functioning) would also be introduced complimenting the core elements of organic intelligence that are already in place.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, the website would function as a supportive, life enhancing community that reinforces the multiple levels of learning structured into the program.

Rekindling the sensory knowledge we were born with is extraordinary difficult to do. Like a language you once spoke fluidly but haven't spoken in decades, it takes a while to become fluent again. But, eventually, you get the groove back. You will never speak a more important language.

Colorado Movie Theater Shooting Victim's Girlfriend And Mother 'Hold Each Other Up'

College sweethearts Amanda Lindgren and Alex Teves were just beginning their lives together when their love story was cut tragically short. In July 2012, the 24-year-olds were at a midnight screening of "The Dark Knight Rises" in Aurora, Colorado when a gunman entered the theater and opened fire. Alex was one of 12 killed that night and used his last moments to protect Amanda and save her life.

One year later, filmmaker Jonas Elrod of the OWN series "In Deep Shift with Jonas Elrod" traveled to Colorado to meet with Amanda and document her spiritual journey. Amanda lives with an immeasurable loss and has been struggling to move forward, but her family is hopeful that she'll move home to Arizona where she can get the help and support she needs.

In the above clip from the upcoming episode, Alex's mother, Caren Teves, reflects on how difficult it is to be in Colorado on the anniversary of the tragedy. "The last few days have been very tough," Caren says. "In Arizona you're distanced from it, so it's not right in your face. Here, it's real tough. It's on the newspapers when you walk by. Just walking down the street, you can't get away from it. It brings me back to a place when Alex was here, and it's just a little hard to handle right now."

Though it stirs painful memories, Caren has come to Colorado to be there for Amanda. "Amanda's here and I need to be with her," Caren says. "Together we just find support and hold each other up."

It's what Alex would have wanted, she says. "Alex used to say to me 'I'm so happy you love Amanda.' He used to call me up and just tell me that, 'I'm so happy you love Amanda!' So I feel he would really want us to be together right now," Caren says.

Follow Amanda's story on "In Deep Shift with Jonas Elrod," airing Sunday, February 22 at noon ET on OWN.



Like Us On Facebook |
Follow Us On Twitter

Thursday 19 February 2015

How Beer Can Enhance Your Practice

New research shows that drinking a pint might have more health benefits than we once thought. Here's how.

The post How Beer Can Enhance Your Practice appeared first on Yoga Journal.

Distracted Driving, Distracted Eating

A few weeks ago, an Alabama man was stopped by a policeman for eating a cheeseburger while driving and cited under the distracted driving law. The charges were later dropped.


The story got remarkable attention, and although I have no idea whether the driver should have gotten a ticket, I'm glad that it brought the issue of distracted driving into discussion.


The other issue that we should think about more is distracted eating. We seem to be eating most of our meals while doing something else. And while eating might take your mind off the road, traffic also takes your mind off your food.


A study in Public Health Nutrition that looked at people's food-related time use over 30 years revealed that besides the dramatic shift in how much and what Americans eat, there's also been a big shift in the way we eat.


The study found that we now do almost 50 percent of our eating while concentrating on something else, up from just 20 percent 30 years ago.


Eating is now done while driving, watching TV, walking down a street and working -- as we all know, it's now perfectly acceptible to eat while doing pretty much anything -- and food's available for nibbling and sipping everywhere.


We're eating most of our calories while distracted. Does preoccupied eating explain overconsumption and the upward trend in our collective weight? I think so, at least in part. Mindful eating is an important technique that helps people modify their food intake and we should give some thought to how we eat, and perhaps try to multitask a little less during the time we have food in our mouths. Food that's eaten at a table, slowly, attentively, is more effective at filling you up. Food that's celebrated is more satiating.


Mind you, I'm as guilty as anyone of eating lunch at my computer. But I do have some rules that I've been able to stick to: We eat a family dinner every day, un-rushed, no electronic distractions allowed, and I limit eating-while-distracted to low caloric density, highly nutritious foods, such as veggies and fruit.


A good start would be eliminating eating while doing these two things: watching TV (huge amounts of calories can be consumed mindlessly in front of a screen) and obviously driving. Eating slows your reaction time to dangers on the road. Driving slows your reaction time to food.


Dr. Ayala

Ask the Expert: Do Twists Really Wring Out Toxins?

Answers to your questions about detoxifying yoga, back pain, digestive distress, and more. My teacher always describes certain poses, especially […]

The post Ask the Expert: Do Twists Really Wring Out Toxins? appeared first on Yoga Journal.

I'm Disabled, 20-Something and Believe in Love

As seen on mobileWOMEN

This piece is an excerpt of writings regarding love and self-acceptance. Regardless of societal differences -- from ability, gender, sexual orientation, race, etc. -- you are a powerful source of love.

I never knew how much I was loved. It's honorary. It's scary. It's overwhelming. It's amazing.


If only we reached into these emotions more often and lived from a place of deep love, much of our daily lives would truly change -- from our relationships, friendships, family bonds to strangers we pass by.

I never knew how much I was truly cared about or that I actually influence people's lives. Society has a tendency to see me as a broken individual, but with love, I've learned to shatter those lenses and begin to see myself as a source of love.

It's overwhelming to see how much I'm loved, that I'm actually important to others and accepted for who I am in my most basic, natural state. Sometimes I solely see my flaws, downfalls, fears and insecurities, and instead of accepting that aspect of myself, I continue to push these emotions further within and hope they can never be acknowledged. But if I know that I'm loved, and deeply loved, maybe I'll know that I'm OK and enough, just as I am.

If I reminded myself everyday how much I'm loved and looked up to, maybe I wouldn't be so hard on myself. Maybe I wouldn't live from a place of perfection and constant insecurity. Maybe I'd finally realize that there's nothing inherently wrong with me, but that I'm simply, deeply loved. Period.

If I reminded myself that I am an incredible human being, maybe I'd realize that I am a deep source of love. That the love I give to myself is coming from my core being -- a place of deep peace and serenity. But more importantly, that I am capable of love and being loved. My heart has been unleashed and is my forever compass.

If I spoke from a place of openness, maybe I wouldn't shut people out. If I told people how much I loved them on a daily basis, maybe I would experience vulnerability; but maybe that vulnerability makes me pure. If we all acted from our vulnerable points, maybe our world would be more humane. And maybe that vulnerability comes from a deep source of love- a deep love that radiates within every human being. Maybe love is a gift that all human beings are inherently given. Maybe this entire earth is a continuum of love.

If I spoke from a deep place of love, maybe my hardships would seem more manageable. Maybe I'd be able to see people -- and myself -- for our humanness, instead of annoyances, mistakes and past disappointments. Maybe I'd be able to see myself as a pure source of love.

I have a viable voice and although there are times when growing up can be painful, I lay comfortable in knowing that love surrounds and engulfs me at every stage of my life. When nerves are shaking my core and every fiber in my being appears unsteady, just knowing that love is within me provides a beacon of hope and strength -- a strength I never fathomed could exist. I've realized that I don't need to look for love, but it purely exists within our world -- within ourselves, others, and all living beings on this earth.

And if I'm a source of love, then I have the capability to fully love myself. I have the capacity to fully love others. I have the ability to love this breathing life. But not only that, with deep love, I have the ability to positively embrace all the challenges, upsets, and roadblocks I continue to confront. And even when times seem too overwhelming to face, love is deeply rooted within me; a powerful source that will never leave my side. Even in death love will still be with me. With love, I can overcome anything.

I'm made from love. I was chosen to be on this earth out of love. I grew up around love. I was talked to with love. I have been thought of out of love. I've learned to love. And I've been ignited by love.

So doesn't that make me an ever-flowing source of love?

It has to be.

2015-02-14-FullSizeRender11.jpg

Why This 62-Year-Old Woman Is Saying 'Namaste' To Yoga Teaching School

This is one story from HuffPost Fifty's new series "This Will Be Our Year: 15 Women Over 50 Shaking Things Up In 2015." We'll be following 15 remarkable ladies throughout the year as they make a radical change in their lives, whether it's embarking on a 500-mile hike, starting a new career or attempting to find love on the Internet. Follow each woman's story here.

susan
Susan Lyons, 62, is becoming a yoga instructor.

“I stumbled upon yoga accidentally. It was a class offered at my local gym. It was so hard at first. It was terrible -- I couldn’t do anything. But it challenged me. So I went to the next class and the next class. I’ve been taking classes for two years now. I love it, but I’m not very good at it -- my knees and my wrists are weak.

So I thought, if I’m going to challenge myself and compete against myself like I want to, then I need to continue to take the classes and take yoga teacher classes.

I’ve been fighting with my body since I was a teenager, meaning, I’m overweight and I’ve always been more or less overweight. I’ve gone through diets, programs, and I just thought now is the time to let go of that for once and for all. I just kind of want to do something with y body and let my body take control, rather than my mind and these crazy diets. So, we’re going to give it a try -- actually, no. I’m going to do it. I’m really going to do it.

I’ve been looking around for six months but wanted to wait until I retired because it would be hard to work and take classes at the same time. I turned 62 and I was able to retire from my job with the federal government. I’ve worked all my life and I think some of my work environments were toxic and high stress. I think just losing a little bit of that weight, toning up and feeling more strong will be good for me. I’m going to be more resilient. I’ll be able to do things with more ease and grace and try some other outdoor sports I didn’t want to do because I was a little too chunky.

I just retired this month, so the timing is perfect, now that I have time and I can treat my body with a little more ease and respect. The school that I’m going to is great. My first class has gone really well. There are six other 30-something women and the teacher is 30-something but I’m just so darn proud happy for being there and I’m proud of myself for just showing up. I haven’t been able to say that often enough in my life and it’s great."

15 over 50

15 over 50

Wednesday 18 February 2015

How I Learned to Stop Hating My Job and Love My Life

The following is an exclusive chapter from James McCrae's forthcoming book, "Sh#t Your Ego Says: Simple Strategies to Overthrow Your Ego & Become the Hero of Your Story." For more information visit www.shityouregosays.com.

It was Wednesday morning (pre-coffee) when I got the email. I had known for weeks that my company, a huge global advertising agency, was about to open a new branch in a nearby city. What I didn't know (that is, until now) was that my position was being reassigned to the new office. I was disappointed. "This happens all the time," I told myself. But truthfully, I felt helpless. Because I had no say in the matter, my destiny felt beyond my control. But I accepted the decision. I bit the bullet and told myself that I had the power inside myself to find happiness wherever I was thrown (I kept my fingers crossed just in case). Afterall, this was just a new location. No big deal. It's not like my job was changing. Or so I thought.

"You didn't know?" my co-worker Aaron told me later in the day. He was also being relocated to the new branch. "We're not just moving to the other office. We are being absorbed into a new department. By this time next month, you and I will have different jobs. They are restructuring the department to fit into the research and analytics team."

I was devastated. Two weeks later, my creative team had moved offices and was absorbed into the analytics department. I tried to fight the decision, but it was too late. I moved to the new office with a box of personal items in my hands and my tail between my legs. I was not happy. At all. "How can the creative team be managed by the analytics team?" I complained to Aaron. "It doesn't make sense. If anything, the analytics team should be managed by the creative team. You can't make imagination part of an algorithm. What is wrong with these people? Their priorities are backwards."

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I discovered that Joe was going to be my new boss. A notorious office asshole, Joe was not a leader by any stretch of the imagination. He was a manager. His management style resembled somebody trying to maximize the productivity of a sweatshop. Instead of encouraging his team to develop our talents, he did everything he could to instill fear in the hearts of his employees. Machiavelli would have been proud.

Fear produces reactionary thinking; trust produces creative thinking. In order for creativity to bloom, the mind must be free. But my new environment was founded on a philosophy of scarcity and fear. "You are all under pressure to produce results quickly," Joe would bark. "I don't care how you do it - just do it. Imagination is a luxury we can't afford." It was hell. For the first time in my life, I felt like my mind had been imprisoned. Energy drained from my body like a leaky faucet. I was trapped. My talents were at the mercy of analytics reports. When the left brain is considered king, the right brain becomes the jester. I felt like a joke.

Putting the creative team in the control of a results-driven analytics department was, I felt, symbolic of the destructive workplace values around the world. My company (and, in many ways, the capitalist system itself) was trying to force the creative process to work like an assembly line. Input data, output results, repeat. The problem is, creativity doesn't work that way. Society often attempts to cram imagination into places where it doesn't fit, like shoving a circular block into a triangular hole. In doing so, purpose is usually replaced with profits. Inspiration is reduced to the lowest billable dollar amount.

The pursuit of our personal purpose and truth should be the reason we show up to work. Working with purpose should never be a luxury - it should be non-negotiable. But is it easy? No. In the chase for quick results, we often forget the dreams that inspired us before we started our career. We show up to work uninspired. Clock in; check out. "I hate my job," the Ego says. "But it's too late to start over. Besides, creativity and dreams are for children. I have bills to pay and things to buy. It would be nice to find a career that aligned with my life purpose, but that's not realistic."

Your Higher Self knows better. "The point of having a job is to expand your vision and develop your talents, not to gain money and security," it says. "Money and security mean nothing if you are hiding from your true self. Your career will become more meaningful to the same degree that you reveal your inner truth to others. Your job is a place to learn from others, and also to teach them. What you learn and teach are more than merely job skills. You learn from others the value of shared humanity. And you teach them the gift of your unique perspective. This value exchange is unseen, but is the true purpose of work."


A quest with no vision.

There was a time when children became adults by going on a spiritual journey. This tradition symbolized official entrance into the tribal community. For example, in some Native American cultures, children who reached a certain age would embark on a Vision Quest. A Vision Quest was a rite of passage that required the child to journey into the wilderness, usually alone, for several days. The objective was for the child to establish a deep connection to both the natural world and the inner self. Upon return from the Vision Quest, the child was empowered with a sense of personal vision, and therefore ready to fulfill their role within the tribe.

Today, we usually enter society on a quest with no vision. Our wilderness is not the forest, but the office building. Our guide is not the inner self, but college degrees and internships. Instead of days spent alone in contemplation, we stare desperately into computer screens with the same intensity that Native American seekers looked into the wilderness, hoping to find an answer in the light of the screen. We don't always like it. But it pays the bills, so we keep showing up.

The stress of the modern workday often leaves us feeling stuck. In the rat race to get ahead in our careers, we barely have time for our friends and family, let alone for pursuing our personal vision. I know, because I have experienced it. When I hated my job, it led to frustration. When my frustration didn't help, it turned into depression. I would sleepwalk through each day, waiting for night. The pride and investment I once had in my work was gone. Why? Because I thought my job was unfair. "Why should I care about my job?" my Ego said. "This company is stupid and my work does not make a difference. Who cares if I do a good job? Nobody will even notice. I'm stuck, like a car in New York City traffic."

At the time, I didn't realize a simple truth: in both work and life, we receive back the love we give. Every time. We also receive back the indifferent we give. Every time. We always receive a fair return on our attitude investment. But I didn't understand this basic principle. So, instead of putting love into my work, I showed up each day seething with resentment. I blamed others for my inability to find happiness. "This environment is toxic," I thought. "So I will be toxic too. It's what this place deserves." During the day I would keep to myself and silently cultivate my anger. During the night I would pour whiskey over ice in an attempt to cloud my memory of the day. I did whatever it took to distract me from my inner turmoil and feel momentarily free.


Trust wherever you are.

Life doesn't make mistakes. Yeah, I know - this can be hard to believe (especially when you feel frustrated by your circumstances). But it's true. Wherever you are, it is a required step in your personal development. In spite of how things may appear, the Universe does not make room for accidents. Where you are at any given moment is exactly where you need to be. "Not true!" the Ego says. "What about circumstances that are unfair and make personal development more difficult? I'm surrounded by negative people. How could this be where I need to be? I'm miserable and want to be somewhere better."

"Life is not always about where you want to be," the Higher Self says. "It's about where you need to be. Every struggle has a purpose. Think about the ancient explorers who paved the way for our modern cities. There were no roads, so they paved them. There were no houses, so they built them. They overcame the obstacles of the land to build something entirely new that would stand the test of time. You are an explorer too. Each person is an explorer of their own purpose. Your land is unsettled. Your roads are still unpaved. These are the struggles of your daily life. There will always be obstacles to overcome in order to discover new territory. But once the roads are paved and houses are built, you can return with ease. Your purpose has been established. This is why, when you look back on past challenges, your struggle makes sense. You see in hindsight that, even though it was difficult at the moment, your obstacles provided a path that would not have been available otherwise. If you could see the big picture, you would understand that the Universe is always connecting the dots (even when you are too frustrated to notice). Therefore it is important to trust where you are. One day you will look back and understand the purpose of your struggle."

We are each on a different path. Your journey is different than mine. We each have a different set of challenges to overcome. Why is it necessary that we face challenges and undesired circumstances? Because everyone has lessons to learn and baggage to release. We are here to learn to let go. Each of us carries pockets of resistance somewhere in the dark corners of our minds, like the residue of past energy that is no longer serving us. This is what happens: as we go through life, we absorb the energy of our environment. Some of this energy is positive, and some is negative. The negative energy we absorb needs to be worked out of our system. Even when our conscious mind releases the baggage of negative energy, the residue of old habits and beliefs remains, stuck and hidden in secret places, like a blind spot of the mind. Only when we investigate the darkness will we know where light is needed. By putting in work (any kind of work, it doesn't matter), we discover these blind spots. In our struggles, we are forced to dig deep into the unexamined corners of our consciousness and release our pockets of stuck energy. If we seek to evade the hard work of life, we will never release the baggage that is holding us down. If you continue to hold onto the stuck energy of old habits and beliefs, you will never evolve beyond the jobs and circumstances you hate. Putting in work is how we learn to let go. In the process we find the value of struggle and the purpose of our journey.

You are always an energetic match with your environment. Look around you. Look at your surroundings. Take it in. Now look within yourself. What energy are you radiating to attract your current conditions? Remember - all life is energy. Even physical matter can be broken down into micro-units until all that remains is energetic frequency. Therefore you can not exist sustainably within an environment (such as a job) that is not, on some level, your energetic match. As such, placing blame on others or feeling resentment about your job is counterproductive. You are not a victim of your environment. Your environment is, on some level, meeting you where you already are. The only way to evolve your environment is to first evolve the frequency of your energy. Your struggle cannot transform until you do. And yet, when you live and act mindfully, your struggle can act as a catalyst for personal transformation. The tension between where you are and where you want to be can propel you forward. Our biggest challenges are our best teachers. This is why there is value in every difficult moment.


All work is holy.

"Work is love made visible." -- Kahlil Gibran

Your life purpose starts wherever you are. You can't wait for circumstances to be perfect because they never will be. The first step toward every dream was taken by somebody who was stuck in an environment they did not choose. You must begin living your purpose before your environment adapts. It's almost like a cosmic test. "Can you live your purpose even when circumstances are not ideal? Can you act out your role before the stage is ready?" the Universe asks. "If you pass the test, I will accommodate the right circumstances to match your attitude. But first, you must prove that you are committed to living your purpose internally before external conditions are matched." It's not always fun, but those are the rules. If you want a job that aligns with your life purpose, you must begin with the job you have now.

All work is service. Think of yourself as a healer. Your co-workers, customers and clients are the people you are assigned to serve and heal. Your role is important. It doesn't matter what you do. The cab driver has a mission every bit as valuable as the CEO. Your role is important because, no matter what you do, people are depending on you. You may not enjoy your work. I understand the feeling. But the work itself is not as important as the people you serve. You are assigned to serve the people who your work touches. And yet, your job now is not your fate. Your role will eventually change as your consciousness changes. But, at this moment, you are being called to make an impact where you have been assigned. It's not perfect. But things are never perfect. Instead of waiting for your job to be perfect, make your reaction to your job perfect. Show up everyday as an act of service. Take what you are given and turn it into art.

Like this post? Visit shityouregosays.com for simple strategies to overcome your Ego and become the hero of your story.

Man Takes On Daunting Task Of Listening To Nickelback For 168 Hours Straight For Charity

Nickelback isn't everyone's cup of tea.

The rock band -- which arguably has garnered as many passionate non-fans online as it has fans in the real world -- performs music that has some people rocking out and others cringing painfully.

Jesse Carey, a contributing editor to Relevant magazine and a Nickelback non-fan, is listening to the Canadian group's entire eight-album catalog for 168 hours straight -- starting on Monday, Feb. 16 and ending Sunday, Feb. 22 -- in order to help bring clean water to those in the developing world.

He's asking supporters to donate to Charity: Water through his fundraising page on the organization's website.

"I'm breaking the rules of nature here," Carey said after announcing the charitable challenge on an episode of Relevant's podcast.

Charity: Water orchestrates clean water projects -- like drilling wells and installing water purification systems -- in underserved regions of Africa, South Asia and the Americas.

Globally, about 748 million people are forced to rely on unimproved drinking sources, such as surface water, according to the World Health Organization. More than 500,000 people die each year from diarrhea resulting from consuming unsafe water.

Charity: Water is one group finding solutions to the crisis. The group says it has provided clean water to roughly 4.6 million people through its work in 22 different countries.

Carey has shared frequent updates about his challenge on Twitter as an accountability measure. As he explained during the podcast, he's wearing wireless earbuds and using his smartphone and a Bluetooth device to ensure Nickelback is constantly playing.










The initial goal of Carey's challenge was to raise $5,000 -- the minimum amount it takes to build a water project -- however, after his online fundraiser almost reached that figure in just two days, he decided to double the amount. By Wednesday afternoon, he'd garnered more than $18,800.

As Charity: Water notes, the current amount raised is enough to provide clean water to 627 people.

"It is critical that donations continue to pour in for the work of [Charity: Water] to raise my spirits as I explore the limits of mental fragility by subjecting my mind and soul to a weeklong Nickelback onslaught," Carey wrote on the fundraising page.

To participate in Carey's challenge supporting Charity: Water, click here.

Like Us On Facebook
Follow Us On Twitter

Travel Is an Attitude

2015-02-17-img_0907.jpg

Six years ago, my husband and I took a six month travel sabbatical from the corporate world, backpacking and camping through several countries in Africa, Asia and Oceania. To say this experience was life-changing does not do it justice: We now talk about life 'Before and After Sabbatical'!

Yet the biggest shift this trip brought was in our attitude to travel. Before this sabbatical, travel was just something we did two weeks of the year while we were away from home -- two weeks during which we would fully live, while the rest of the year was mostly just work.

After six months of almost non-stop travel, we came to a strange conclusion: We realized that traveling is about more than just being in a different place. That true travel is an attitude. So we came up with a 'Keep Traveling' mantra -- a way of applying our favorite aspects of travel to our everyday lives.

Here are five ways you can bring this "keep traveling" attitude to your life without needing to physically travel.

1. "Keep Traveling" means embracing fear as a necessary part of growth

Travel forces us to take a small step -- or many steps -- away from our comfort zone, and stepping away from our comfort zone is where the magic happens. It's where we discover sides to ourselves we didn't even know existed.

Everyday life provides plenty of opportunities to push past our fears - from letting go of something or someone that no longer serves you, to saying no to someone and standing up for yourself. And despite how uncomfortable, and well, scary, fear can be, it is also a sign that we are growing and moving forward in life.

2. "Keep Traveling" means being open to new experiences wherever we are

Travel enables us to experience new things -- both man made and natural. Seeing kangaroos on a beach at sunrise, taking a helicopter ride or experiencing Angkor Wat at sunset is awe-inspiring.

Daily life provides plenty of opportunities for new experiences IF we create them. These can be as small as trying a new restaurant rather than always going to the same ones, taking that dance class you've been meaning to take, learning a new language, reading a book or buying an unknown vegetable when grocery shopping.

3. "Keep Traveling" sees differences as enriching rather than threatening

Travel opens our minds to different ways of doing things. It gently, and sometimes not so gently, takes us by the hand and reveals that other ways, beliefs and attitudes exist - and that they, too, are valid. In doing so, it provides the opportunity to re-examine our own beliefs and habits.

In everyday life, we are faced with different beliefs and attitudes all around us, but we don't choose to see these as intriguing - annoying is often a more apt description. Yet we can always choose to be open to differences in opinions and values that come from our family or co-workers. Accepting them with the same openness and curiosity we show 'foreign' cultures can be a novel experience.

4. "Keep Traveling" means being open to connection
Away from the cocoon of our known lives, we are more vulnerable and open, both with people we know and people we don't. And while we rarely stay in touch with those we meet, for a brief moment, we have walked along the same path, and this interaction leaves us all the richer. It acts as a humble reminder, as Maya Angelou says, that we are more alike than we are unalike" despite the apparent differences.

We don't actually need to physically travel to connect with people or be more open and vulnerable with those around us. We can choose to live with open hearts every day even if this makes us more vulnerable. Why not bring the same relaxed and laid-back attitude we have on holiday when dealing with the people around us - from the Starbucks barista to the old lady in the bus?

5. "Keep Traveling" means taking the necessary distance from life
Being able to briefly press the pause button on everyday routines provides a bird's eye view of life. Travel enables us to assess what matters most, to re-evaluate our priorities and what we want or need to change in our daily lives.

And here I concede that a change in environment is helpful - and so is journaling, meditating or simply leaving more space to just BE so you can gain some distance from life.

How will you "keep traveling" in your life?

2015-02-17-img_5463.jpg

www.healthwise.ch
Join Hiba on Facebook


Hiba Giacoletto is a Psychologist and Food Coach passionate about helping people create healthier habits through mindfulness, intuition and pleasure.