14 Ways to Stimulate Personal Growth

You know you're here for big things, right? You have a difference to make and a purpose to live. And if you're doing that right now -- perfect. Keep doing your thing.

If you're not, and you're unsure how to start, it's possible you've missed the important journey you need to take to get to where you want to be.

Whatever you like to call it -- personal growth, personal development, self-acutalization or finding yourself -- this journey is you exploring and developing who you truly are. It explores identity, talents and potential, as well as dreams and aspirations. It develops you physically, mentally, spiritually and intellectually.

And it can look however you want it to -- that's the personal part! Your journey might involve training, up-skilling and traveling; or it might involve yoga, meditating and spiritual healing.

The key is to put yourself into situations that will trigger that exploration and development.

To get you started, here are 14 ways you can stimulate personal growth.

1. Know yourself.

Self knowledge is not just about knowing your likes and dislikes, it's about knowing who you truly are as a person. How you look at life. How you interact with others. What fires you up. What leaves you shaking. What gets your heart pumping. A person who sincerely knows who they are shines with confidence.

This kind of knowledge is learned by personal reflection, lots of time alone, and situations outside of your comfort zone. Those situations can be different for everyone - anything from enjoying a long lunch with a pen and notebook for company (no phone!), to solo travel. You learn a lot about yourself by jumping into an unfamiliar environment. And when you break through what you previously thought you were capable of, you'll feel like you can achieve anything.

2. Surround yourself with beautiful people.

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I'm talking about inner beauty, of course. People that make you see the world in a new way. People that do extraordinary things. People that exude the qualities you'd love have rub off on you; kindness, compassion, bravery, drive. People that have a story to tell, gifts to share and lessons to teach.

3. Rid yourself of people who bring you down.

This is a tough action to take, as the person who brings you down might be person you share your bed with. Or the person you've known since you were a kid. Or the person who employs you. Only you can decide whether or not you should do this (or want to), and how best to do it. Every situation is different. Sometimes it calls for addressing the situation in person, sometimes it calls for fading contact between you, and sometimes it calls for leaving one day and never looking back. This is absolutely easier said than done, so I don't want to make light of this situation. The one instance where I would urge you to immediately remove yourself is if you are physically or emotionally at risk. Often, these situations will require outside help -- ask for that help.

4. 'Three good things' practice.

Each day, you write down three good things that happened throughout your day, or three things you are thankful for. It can be as simple as 'I'm thankful for a warm sunny day today'.

5. Avoid comparing yourself to what you see on social media.

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Here's the thing about social media: it's a clipped, cropped and cultivated representation of who we are. It's not really who we are. We accentuate the best of ourselves. We filter and tweet what we want others to see - and to be honest, that's perfectly ok. It's no different to quickly cleaning your house when someone says they're dropping by; we like to present ourselves in the best light. The key is to be mindful that this is what everyone is doing -- everyone.

So when you scroll through Facebook, know that all those updates, photos and comments have been carefully considered. And when we compare ourselves, we have a tendency to compare the worst of ourselves to the best of everyone else. Not that you should compare in the first place; but it's not a fair comparison. The funny thing is, people are probably comparing themselves to you. It's not a healthy pastime. If there's someone you find you can't help but weigh yourself against, unsubscribe from their posts for a while. You'll still be friends, but you'll stop seeing updates. The 'three good things' exercise and knowing yourself will help in this situation.

6. Write.

Whether it's a public blog or a private journal, writing is a therapeutic outlet for your thoughts. Totally up to you however you do it; Julia Cameron's morning pages, a diary that you might go for months without writing in, or random notes typed on your phone.

7. Meet new people.

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If you're shy or introverted, this will serve as you getting outside of your comfort zone. Spending time with new people will broaden your horizons and open up different adventures and opportunities in your life. Unsure of how? Friends of friends is always a good start. Get yourself invited to parties and make it your mission to talk to someone you don't know. Strike up a conversation at the gym. Introduce yourself to the person you always see at your favourite park or beach. Ask to share a table with a stranger at a busy café.

If the thought of doing this is giving you heart palpitations and sweaty palms right now - great! Do it! The easiest way to do this is offer a compliment and ask an open ended question (one like 'So, how do you know...' is a good place to start) or just flat out say something like 'Hi! I see you here quite a bit, so thought I'd say hello. It's a great café/bar/gym/park isn't it?'. If you use that intro, I would one hundred percent resist the urge to follow it up with 'So, do you come here often?!'. Up to you though.

8. De-clutter.

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We get emotionally attached to 'stuff'. When you finally purge and rid yourself of all the clutter you've hoarded over a lifetime, you feel empowered. It's freeing. Bin, donate, cull down. Be especially mindful of what you bring into your life in the future.

9. Turn off the TV.

Emotions in others stimulate emotions in you, and if a movie or a show has ever made you cry or laugh, you'll get what I mean. You know it's not real, but you still get caught up in the story and emotionally react. A good movie will leave you full of whatever emotion they were trying to portray - it's a job well done.

But what about those dramatic reality shows? Shows that thrive on conflict for the story line? What sort of emotions do shows like that stimulate and leave you with? There is nothing worse than walking into a room and seeing people watching a screen filled with other people fighting, arguing, complaining and backstabbing. It's something most of us would avoid like the plague in real life, so it doesn't make sense to give up your free time to watch it play out on a screen. Spend that time learning something new instead.

10. Get in touch with nature.

Take time out each day to get some fresh air, walk through a beautiful park or garden, visit the beach or just watch the clouds. It's a mini escape, and plants you firmly in the 'real world', as opposed to the virtual world. Watch the stars, swim in the ocean, walk through a forest or toast marshmallows over a bonfire. The world is beautiful, and taking time out to enjoy it is energizing.

11. Read.

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Reading connects you with a person that may have lived decades, or even hundreds of years before you were born. It gives you an insight into another world and perspective. And it grows you in the easiest way possible, all from the comfort of your favorite chair. If you're not a big reader, the best way to start is to either pick your topic and go for the most popular book in that genre (it will be popular for a reason), or just go to the most popular books list on Amazon and start with something short.

12. Develop a childlike sense of humor.

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If you have young children around, you'll know how easy it is to make them laugh. Their humor is sweet and simple - pure joy from a silly joke or a funny face. Embrace a lighthearted sense of humor; spend the day with a friend that shares the same crazy sense of humor as you, watch stand up comedy online, or read a funny article. Try and get to that crying-laughing-I-have-the-stitch stage at least once a week. It's healthy!

13. Get a hobby.

Hobbies serve a multitude of purposes. You learn a new skill, it's (usually) a creative or physical outlet, it often introduces you to new people, it gets you out of that comfy place, it's usually an achievement of something you've always wanted to do or try, and it gives you something interesting to talk about when you meet new people. Being passionate about something different is cool. Passionate people are interesting, and it doesn't even matter what the passion is. It's energizing to talk to someone who has a real excited love for something.

14. Make someone's day.

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Whether it's for stranger, a friend, or your mum - do something to brighten someone's day. It can be as simple as a genuine compliment, or an unexpected and thoughtful gift. Seeing the effect of your kindness toward others will have a lasting impact on your personal growth.

Start now.

If you're ready to start or develop your personal growth journey, try one of the ideas listed above.

If you've started your journey and would like to share what triggered your personal growth, please do so below - your story might inspire someone to start their own journey.

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Why Daydreams Are the Best Creative Tool for Your Reinvention Process

Were you that kid who was constantly getting called out for daydreaming?

"Pay attention."
"Stop daydreaming."
"Is anybody in there?"

Me too.

But the funny thing is I never stopped.

Some people feel daydreaming is all about wasting time, zoning out, or simply not wanting to be present for whatever is happening in the now. But that's not necessarily the case.

Research shows that more than one third of our waking hours is spent daydreaming. One in three! And when MRI scans are performed on people when they are daydreaming, the results show a very active and very dynamic brain function, which has to mean that daydreaming serves some vitally important function, right?

People who daydream demonstrate more creativity. And when you learn to daydream in a controlled way, these mental wanderings can cause you to be much more prolific and productive in all that you take on.

Daydreams have benefits. And with a little focus, you can turn them into a creative task that will help you get more done and be more inventive with everything you do.

Daydream more ... with a little direction.

Daydream about a perfect day at some point in the future. Where would you live? What would you have around you? Who would you have around you? What would you be doing? The richer the details, the more it will help you align your actions with what will help you make that daydream a reality.

Daydream about a perfect day at work. What would you be doing? What would your job title be? Who would be around you? How would you be interacting with customers? How much would you make?

Daydream about new relationships. Who would it be? How would you meet them? What would you ask them? What would you hope to learn? How would they influence you?

Daydream about traveling. Where would you go? What would you do? How long would you be there? Who would you take with you?

Daydream about making a change in the world. What's missing? It can be something simple or something complex; something in your hometown, or something that would impact the entire world.

Daydream with unlimited resources. We tend to confine our daydreams to things we already have or have easy access to. What if money and resources were endless? What if you could do anything?

Daydream about being famous. What could you do that would make you famous? What would you invent? What would you create? What would they write in a biography about you long after you are gone?

Learning to control your daydreams is only half of the exercise; from there take action. You'll be amazed at all you can achieve, simply from a little daydreaming.

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The Parenting Relay Race

I've been thinking about how my marriage has changed since having our second baby. We are more tired, of course. There is more laundry to do, more dishes, more baths to give, less of us to go around. We are in man-to-man defense mode most of the time.

You take this kid, I'll take that one.
You feed this kid, I'll feed that one.

There is no break, no time to sit, no time to relax. We are always doing something: feeding kids, changing kids, bathing kids, cleaning up spit-up, cleaning up pee, cleaning up toys, cleaning up yogurt... you get the idea. It's ironic how much time we spend cleaning, given that our house is a complete disaster on most days.

We split the responsibilities as best we can. We negotiate time away and we negotiate the chores and we try very very hard not to complain.

Do you want to do dishes or bedtime?
Do you want to do baths or laundry?
Do you want to go grocery shopping or watch the kids?

It's a cycle, and it never stops. We're two ships passing in the night, half asleep with blue-eyed children in our arms. We're learning the ins and outs of our own exhaustion, our own debilitating frustration, our own shortcomings as parents. We're learning to read each other better, to understand the different types of tired, to notice the I-can't-do-this-anymore looks on each other's faces.

Right now, parenting feels like a giant relay race with no end in sight. We're simply running different stretches at different times, but the race never stops. We're taking turns and running till it hurts, until we need a break, until we're running so fast we can't breathe. And then, when we simply can't go any further, we tag each other.

Tag. You're it.

And then it's my turn and I'm running and I'm not stopping and I'm pouring the Cheerios and cleaning up the yogurt and breastfeeding and trying not to yell. I'm behind on everything: work, emails, gifts, thank you's, meal planning, laundry, 40 pieces of unopened mail. I'm reading books and doing finger puppets and changing diapers and giving time-outs and I'm going going going with sweat dripping down my face, heart pounding out of my chest, and then it is 6:07 p.m. and my knees are about to give out.

Tag. You're it.

And then he's running and he's not stopping and he's wrestling and playing catch and tickling baby feet and giving baths. He's exhausted from his day, his job, his stress, the overwhelming burden and privilege to provide for a family of four. He's warming bottles and reading more books and doing dishes and he's going going going, fire in his lungs, and then it is 8:24 p.m. and his legs are done.

Tag. You're it.

And somedays, we have barely said anything to each other aside from hi, how was your day, it was fine, how was yours, it was fine, the kids did _____ and it made me laugh and the kids did _____ and it made me angry and I'm so tired, are you tired? When will we not be so tired?

We ignore the piles of mail, the to-do's that aren't done, and opt to collapse on the couch instead. He finds the Netflix binge du jour while I set up my breast pump and we watch TV with the familiar sound of milk filling bottles in the background.

We go to bed too late, as always. He sets the alarm and I turn on the oscillating fan, and our bodies melt into the mattress side by side. We rest, for just a moment, before the next stretch of running, which comes only a few hours later at 3:02 a.m.. Every single night at 3:02 a.m. I get up and start running, because it's my turn, while he dreams until 6:47 a.m., and then it's his.

Back and forth, round and round, we're on the hamster wheel that never stops. We're learning to love each other in stolen glances, in midnight whispers, in hamstring stretches and water breaks. A lot of the time it feels like we're parenting separately, running separately, resting separately. I never knew co-parenting could feel this isolated, this exhausting, this lonely in our own house. It feels like we're running in two different directions with two different kids, doing two different things, only stopping occasionally to check in with each other: Are you OK?

We're seven months in and I still feel like we're in survival mode, like this is harder than it's supposed to be and we never have enough help and how is my baby still not sleeping through the night? I think a lot of people would say that the transition from zero kids to one kid was The Hardest, but my truth is the opposite -- zero to one was a breeze compared to this. And zero to one was not a breeze. I think about all the families with three young kids, and four young kids and five young kids, and I'm just dumbfounded. How are they not drowning?

I have to believe that this is a phase, that this too shall pass, that pretty soon, things will click into place and parenting two young children won't feel so stressful and chaotic and physically draining. But the truth is, I really miss running together. I miss parenting side by side.

We'll get back there, eventually, I think.

I hope.

For now, I just need to keep reminding myself that even though we're not always running at the same time, we're still running the same race, and we're on the same team, chasing the same prize, and damn -- there's nobody I'd rather relay with than him.




A version of this post originally appeared on Where My Heart Resides. You can follow Ashlee on Instagram and Twitter.

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Most Wealthy Americans Say Giving Back Is 'Essential' To Them: Report

A new report suggests the 1 percent is pretty well-intended when it comes to their charitable dollar.

According to a study by U.S. Trust, 86 percent of high net-worth Americans said giving back to society is an important part of their lives. More than half deemed giving back an "essential" component to a life well lived.

“The wealthy are driven by a sense of purpose and desire to succeed," U.S. Trust President Keith Banks said in a statement regarding the study, which surveyed 640 adults with at least $3 million in investable assets. "But what makes life fulfilling is not money; it’s what they do with it."

In general, Americans are a giving group -- particularly the poor, which gave larger portions of their income to charitable causes in the wake of the Great Recession than their wealthier counterparts, Forbes reported last year.

As Charity Navigator pointed out, Americans gave $335.17 billion to causes in 2013, marking the fourth consecutive year of increases, according to data provided by Giving USA 2014.

The 2014 World Giving Index found the U.S. and Myanmar tied for first place out of 135 countries when it comes to generous citizens. Criteria was based off of if respondents donated money to an organization, volunteered with a group or helped a stranger in the past month.

The U.S. was the only country to rank in the top 10 across all three categories.

H/T Chronicle of Philanthropy

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The Secret to Blissfully Following (Not Forcing) Your Dreams

There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle, or you can live as if everything is a miracle. -- Albert Einstein

I made myself by a ticket this particular networking event weeks ago. I knew it would be good for me, but *in case* I wanted to bail, I bought a ticket online weeks ahead.



The first person I met there ended up being an acquaintance I met months ago! I breathed a deep sigh of relief. We hit it off and started talking about books, meditation and quantum physics. It was exactly the kind of conversation I enjoyed and I secretly hoped that I wouldn't have to talk to anyone else at the event.

Eventually, I had to talk to someone new and conversations inevitably led to business talk. Instantly, something inside me closed up.

I discovered that whenever someone attempted to give me business strategy advice, I'd start feeling overwhelmed and heavy. I tightened up and just nodded. I didn't want to say more, lest they give me more "advice" and add more things my never-ending to do list.

In contrast, whenever I talked to someone about energy and intention -- topics I enjoy -- I felt much lighter. These conversation would just flow. I'd feel happy and have tons of ideas to bounce off them.

This widely different feelings contraction and expansions during my conversations got me thinking about how I could be taking the exact same actions as someone else build up my business, but depending on the energy and intention behind it, my life would feel like carrying a ton of bricks or a blissful walk on a beach.

From the outside, the actions could look the same, but the energy is totally different. Ultimately it is the energy behind what you do that creates your results.

I could tell that if I don't get clear on how I want to be, there are tons of people willing to give me unsolicited business advice. We need to clarify for ourselves HOW we want to work:

Following vs. Forcing Your Dreams

- Allowing vs. forcing

- Passion vs. Overwhelm, Stress

- Open to infinite possibilities vs. Strategic planning

- Making friends vs. Building a "Network"

- Being and staying true to you vs. Reputation management

- Doing it for the love vs. Seeking approval

- Following your intuition VS. Following other people's advice

- Letting go of the outcome vs. Results focused.

- Enjoy, savour and honor the process vs. Manipulate and control the process

- Sharing and giving vs. Taking, what can I 'get'

- Being authentic, wholly me vs. Branding

Take a look and see which side of the list you are operating your life from. It may seem scary to actually let go of the details, it's only because your ego has hijacked you into thinking that you have to control everything.

The truth is, you don't. When you follow your inspiration and follow your bliss, the universe is naturally wired to lead you to exactly where you want to go. You can allow energy of your passion to carry your forward and create whatever you feel inspired to create.

In the process, you will naturally do all of the stuff you "should" do, like branding and networking, but you will enjoy the journey much more!

Don't just follow any old advice. Follow the advice that resonates with you.

When I teach people how to network, I make sure that they do it a way that is true to their hearts - not just show up to an event and mindlessly hand their business cards around. Authentic networking is just about making friends and being a genuine human being.

Mother Teresa said, "We can do no great things, only small things with great love."

Whenever I'm feeling off in anything that I'm doing in business or my life, I check back inside. Usually if I feel bad or blocked about something that I'm trying to create, it's because my heart doesn't want to create it.

When my heart want to create something, it just flows out and I get more done in a couple of hours of FLOW than I'd get done in days of forcing.

If you've been feeling off in your life, I invite you to go through that list again. Take note where you are trying to manipulate and control the outcome. How does it feel to do the opposite instead?

Now I want to hear from you! Is there any area of your life where you've been forcing our dreams to happen, instead of following your inspiration?

What would it feel like to let go?

Let me know in the comments below!

Anita Wing Lee is a transformational life coach, award-winning speaker and mentor who helps people find their soul purpose, where they can access unlimited courage to pursue their dreams.

Get her 7-day free mindset course: How To Be Fearless In Life and The 3 Secret Habits E-guide

Anita shares her journey of travelling to 21 countries in her twenties and creating her dream business lifestyle at anitawinglee.com and on her Youtube channel

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The Ambush of Aging

Like most people, growing older took me by surprise. My unwritten, handshake contract with the world was that I would be forever young. I was the baby of my family, the kid who everyone asked "How's school?"

I can still recall my eighth birthday, the cake from Sutter's Bakery with the marzipan airplane decorating the layers of chocolate and cream; its wings holding four candles apiece, and another for good luck on the cockpit.

I remember, my lovely older sister -- now long gone -- urging me to blow out those candles with one big whoosh, and the round of applause when I managed it. Alas, I have forgotten what I wished for but it surely wasn't to grow old but probably to grow up fast and try my wings -- not the marzipan kind.

I can recall that year as the year of my first pair of long pants, pants that I outgrew a few months after getting them. I grew up at a time when young boys wore corduroy knickers and you graduated into long pants from Brooks Brothers or Rogers Peet the temples of haberdashery. And now to my surprise I find myself much older than my parents were when they died, and I still cannot think of myself as being anywhere near as old as they were at any time of their lives. No, 80 is not the new 40 -- but if you are lucky it may be the new 79.

Age can wreak havoc. I've seen it take the health and the minds of friends and family. Nevertheless, I find that it gives us a choice: You can remember with joy, or recall with regret.

We can retire into ourselves and mourn the losses in our lives, the names crossed out in our phone books, the opportunities missed or bungled -- that summer house you should have bought or the ones you owned and should not have sold, and the time spent in doctor's offices, and the time not spent with people now gone.

You can sit in that stew of regret or continue going on doing what you love to do, and enjoying the company of those you love as long as you can. Time is such a trickster. I know that my wife and I will celebrate our 62nd anniversary on June 21 -- and I am still not 62 in my mind, I am still the small boy with his first long pants, so how did that happen?

Today I was visited not only by a new friend but by two of my three grand-daughters and their wonderful nanny. The only thing better than the spontaneous love of grandchildren is the boundless love you feel for them.

A few fools have died for love, but it is so much better to live for it.

Love of your mate, love of your children, grandkids, friends, pets, work, art, the world is filled with people, animals, and work worth loving. Hatred and envy are for cowards. It is far too easy, too safe. Loving is for the daredevils. It holds so many risks -- we lose those we love, and we are forced to feel so deeply, deeper than any eight year old trapped inside an older body should be obliged to feel.

I've had a lot of time to think about aging -- strangely by going back into my own boyhood in a soon-to-be published memoir, Spotless. One of the blessings of growing older is that the past begins to move closer to the present -- there is a wholeness and shape to life -- and we see it with a clarity that was denied to us when young. And we realize that aging is not a curse, a shameful part of life, a burden to others and to ourselves, but an opportunity to use our lives fully -- not only in the present but to look back with candor and with love at the life we experienced, and relive through memory the joys and sorrows of our youth.

And speaking of love, its time to walk my dog, Sam the Lab, in our splendid Central Park.

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The Natural Gourmet: 5-Minute Chia-Berry Jam

Tap chia’s superfood powers with this quick-fix 3-ingredient jam.

Of all the “superfoods” on the market today, chia seeds are undoubtedly worthy of their reputation. Chia’s superfood status comes from its astounding nutritional profile—the seeds are packed with antioxidants, calcium, and plant-based Omega-3 fatty acids that are crucial for cognitive function as well as taming widespread inflammation. When hydrated, chia seeds absorb nine times their volume in liquid, the bulk of which nourishes the digestive tract, stabilizes blood sugar, and keeps hunger at bay.

READ MORE 5 Healthy Seeds to Get Saavy About

One delicious way to enjoy all the benefits of chia: Whip up this quick jam that has only three ingredients and takes all of 5 minutes to make. Unlike other jams that are full of sugar or require the addition of pectin, this super-nutritious version uses chia seeds’ gelatinous property to lend it just the right jammy consistency. You can also forget about the stress and science of canning – this is easy enough to make in small batches, to be enjoyed within a couple of weeks. The recipe calls for strawberries but feel free to substitute with blueberries, raspberries, or something more exotic. Try this jam stirred into your morning oatmeal or spread over a thick piece of toast.

Chia-Berry Jam Recipe

MAKES ABOUT 1 CUP

1 pound fresh or frozen strawberries, finely diced
2 tablespoons chia seeds
2 teaspoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon honey or maple syrup, optional (depending on sweetness of berries)

1. Place strawberries into a small pot with a lid. Cook over high heat until strawberries release their liquid and start to boil rapidly. Reduce heat to medium and let simmer for 5 minutes with the lid slightly cracked, stirring occasionally. Do not walk away—it will boil over.

2.  Remove from heat and stir in lemon juice and sweetener, if using. Stir in chia seeds. Transfer to a small jar to cool and thicken for at least 10 minutes. Store in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

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The post The Natural Gourmet: 5-Minute Chia-Berry Jam appeared first on Yoga Journal.

True Resilience Is Understanding Nothing Lasts Forever

Who doesn't want safety and security? It's built into our genetics to strive for it. You want a job you can count on forever. You want relationships that will never fade. When you invest your time, your money, and your heart into something, it's only natural you want that investment to pay off for a long time.

Yet, what really last forever? Lots of things, actually, but not in the way we're accustomed to think about.

Nature persists, but nature is big. Not every tree lasts forever. Not every stream flows until the end of time. But, as the world changes, nature changes with it. In the course of my life, I've had many businesses come and go, but my entrepreneurial spirit remains. You've probably had many relationships through the years. Not all of them remain, but you're still happy to connect, meet new people, and make new friends.

If you're not careful, you can spend all your energy trying to build something that lasts forever, but never even get started because "forever" is insurmountable.

I think a better approach is to build something that's adaptable and can change -- even grow stronger -- by accepting the challenges that come its way.

Take your body and exercise, for instance. Why do people work out? It's stressful to the body to push it to its limit. When you're done, you're weak and out of energy. But then, a few days later, you're stronger. Your body turns its challenges into strengths, little bits at a time, by adapting to the ways you choose to use it.

• If you want to build a resilient business, don't waste your time trying to create a business model so solid nothing could undermine it. The world will always change and, eventually, make it useless. Instead, be okay knowing that what works now will eventually not work and that you'll have to evolve and change to stay afloat.


• For stronger relationships, don't cling to how strong they are now. Don't allow yourself to believe your relationships now will be what they are in years to come. Instead, appreciate the people around you for who they are now, and be open to appreciating them for who they'll become, too.


• To create a resilient identity and to know exactly who you are, don't define yourself by who you are today. Instead define yourself by your ideals and your commitment to always improve yourself. The more you change, the more you understand yourself.

That's the thing about resilience -- you can only build it by accepting that everything will, one day, fail. The more ready you are to pivot when it does, the sooner you'll see big changes coming, the better you'll react to them when they arrive, and the faster you'll get back to business-as-usual once they hit.

Tyler Tervooren founded Riskology.co, where he shares research and insights about mastering your psychology by taking smarter risks. For more, join his Smart Riskologist Newsletter.

This article was originally published at Riskology.co

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The Unplanned Pregnancy That Brought Me A Daughter With Down Syndrome -- And Everything I Didn't Know I Wanted

Cristina Nehring was thrilled to meet a guy, less thrilled to get pregnant, terrified when he left -- and ecstatic about the child who changed everything.

By Cristina Nehring

"Anything can happen in life, especially nothing." These words hung above my desk for years. A quote from French writer Michel Houellebecq, they chilled me with their threat of the eventless existence that lay ahead were I not driven, smart and daring enough to make things happen. By "things" I meant legendary love affairs. Travel. A soaring literary career. Not for me the noisy nursery -- my children would be books.

I made strides toward the life I wanted: just enough writerly success to steel my resolve through years of poverty, just enough travel to make me homeless in several countries, just enough love to break my heart. But then I really made something happen -- and it was not at all what I'd envisioned.

I'd gone to the island of Crete to report a story for a travel magazine and fallen for a wild-haired boy -- ardent, tempestuous, penniless. Soon I was pregnant, contraceptive pills notwithstanding. When I leaped to phone an abortion clinic, he stayed my hand: "I'll do anything for this child," he said. "My family, sister, cousins, nieces will do anything."

I loved him. I thought of friends trying to get pregnant. And I decided the brave thing to do was play the cards I'd been dealt. I asked him to join me for the birth in Paris, where I had a job, health insurance and a tiny garret I called home.

Eurydice was born during an April hailstorm. Her father was in the delivery room and photographed her first moments. Then he abandoned her. Eurydice had Down syndrome. When she and I returned home after two weeks in the hospital, her father repaired to Crete, changed his number and told his family never to speak to me again.

Thus ended life as I knew it. Caring for a disabled infant was all-consuming. In cafés where I used to write, I now tossed Dice from side to side to calm her colic; when I had to go to the toilet, I perched her on my thighs. Privacy? Romance? Intellectual life? Gone, I believed -- for good. People with DS often remain with their parents for life.

But before long my daughter began to laugh. Her first, and for many years, her only, vocalization was the sweet, wet smack of a kiss. Rather than make me weaker, she made me stronger. I'd stand over Eurydice's crib as she slept with a smile on her lips, marveling that I was a safe space for this most fragile of creatures. Me: the child-woman, full of learned helplessness and debilitating anxiety. I was a protector.

The more you do, I soon saw, the more you can do. I took Dice on my travel assignments; she came to Morocco and Scotland, Corsica and Tunisia, Sardinia, Greece and America; she slept in Irish hotel drawers, had diapers changed on baggage trolleys and spent time with a mafioso on an island off the coast of Naples. I was prouder of our travels together than I'd ever been of my endlessly easier solo adventures.

By the time Eurydice and I moved our suitcases into an L.A. isolation room for chemotherapy to treat the acute myeloid leukemia with which she had been diagnosed, we'd packed more life into her two years than others do into 50. Nonverbal though she was, she'd become my best friend, my accomplice, my heartthrob. I could not imagine her taking any voyage on her own: I loved her enough to die with her if death was her next destination.

Eurydice laughed her way through chemo, giving me the greatest lesson in courage I have ever known. Never again will I fear a needle, or blood, or scars. Three ports took their turn in her tiny chest to receive the toxins intended to kill her cancer -- which they did. When we got out of isolation after seven months, we catapulted to an empty lot adjoining the hospital, dug our fingers into the bare earth and exulted in the dirt under our nails. Farewell to the sterility of the hospital room! Mud, dust, dung -- welcome!

Life is a series of chapters, and our business is to write them as boldly, as imaginatively, as unapologetically as possible. So many people stare at the same screens, storefronts and story lines their whole lives. When change -- even for the harder -- touches us, I say we're lucky.

My life with my daughter has been everything I did not believe I wanted. It slowed my writing career, cut into hundredths my occasions for romance, limited the time I have to waste. But it has provoked insights, wisdom I would never have obtained otherwise, brought into my sphere only the best of men and multiplied -- exponentially -- the love I have to live.




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Hybrid Yogawear for Cross-Training Yogis

Athletes balancing their mind, body, and soul with yoga can facilitate the transition from competition to surrender with adaptable gear.

The post Hybrid Yogawear for Cross-Training Yogis appeared first on Yoga Journal.

21 Struggles Of Being An 'Old Soul' Trapped In A Young Body

"Old souls" out there, you know who you are. And it's likely you've known since you were quite young, when your parents told you just how unique your outlook on life was compared to the majority of your peers. You know what it's like to be thought of as strange and a little too quiet, and alienated for those differences.

But it's okay, because luckily, there are many perks associated with having wisdom beyond your years: A maturity that will serve you well throughout life, an acute awareness of what you do (and do not) enjoy, a beautiful sense of how to approach the world with an open mind, and a strong will that keeps you grounded in your own convictions.

As with every dominant trait that sets some of us apart from others, there are (frequent) times when this type of existence just feels like a downright struggle. We reached out to HuffPost Lifestyle's Facebook community to find out the hardest parts of being an "old soul" in a young body. Here are 24 things they had to share:

1. "People my age think I'm boring." -- Facebook user Karla Retana

2. "I think the hardest part is finding people that can understand you. It's kind of a lonely feeling." -- Facebook user Rox Aimee

3. "I don't fit in with people my own age. They think I'm uncool or boring. However, older people ONLY see my age and lump me in with immature or inexperienced people. I tend to date older (by 10-15 years) men, which, in my experience, hasn't quite worked yet... I always take the "old soul" thing as a compliment, but I'm not sure it's always meant as one." -- Facebook user Jessica Lee

4. "All along, you feel that you are a different bird in the flock. What makes them sad or happy or mad does not make you feel the same. But, on the other hand, I wouldn't like to be any different." -- Facebook user Rima Harb Bou Ayash

5. "Finding a male counterpart that gets you, but is young/age appropriate." -- Facebook user Zara Zara



6. "The hardest part is not being taken seriously when you're young." -- Facebook user Sarah Jane Wells

7. "Conveying that to anyone who isn't an 'old soul,' and the frustration of sometimes wanting to be in more popular circles, but finding out when you get there that you are and always will be on the outside looking in... and somehow not minding that, even when lonely." -- Facebook user Jo Pollard Hamilton Britt

8. "I have a hard time letting go and being silly because the old voice in my head makes me feel dumb when I do. Plus, intuitively I sense when something is a bad idea, which can be awesome, but it also makes me a buzzkill with peers." -- Facebook user Amy Schulte

9. "For me the hardest part is not letting other people's words affect my mentality. It sounds ironic because an old soul should know to differentiate between words and truth, but sometimes hearing the word 'old' so many times can be exhausting." -- Facebook user Kristi Kurtz

10. "The hardest part is how frustrating it is to see young souls struggle so much with things that are patently, obviously, true and clear. They haven't learned to flow, the secret to life. They're always swimming up impossible, impractical streams, fighting, fighting." -- Facebook user Tracy Finklang

11. "Feeling like you don't really belong anywhere and not understanding how some people can be so vapid, shallow and dim." -- Facebook user Dawn Johnson-Deal

12. "People don't understand that I don't need to have fun all the time. I'm fine being home alone." -- Facebook user Amy Rauton DeLoach

13. "For me, it's difficult to understand the motivations of people my own age, such as their goals and what priorities affect their decisions. I'm stuck in my head a lot, because while my friends are OK to throw caution to the wind for the sake of living life, I always hold back and look at the potential long term plan, end game, and what are my back up plans if I fail the first time." -- Facebook user Rachel Lucht

14. "It makes me feel mentally superior. It's a compliment." -- Facebook user Alison Faye



15. "Nobody believes me when I say, 'I know.'" -- Sarah Gentry

16. "Being an old soul has made me extremely sensitive and that causes anxiety for me. I can't share the depths of my thoughts with most people because they don't 'get it,' and that can be difficult." -- Facebook user Allison Chrun

17. "I feel kind of responsible. And it makes me feel a need to be more mature. And I really like that people think I am grown up but it is a deed of responsibility." -- Facebook user Meenu Aswad

18. "Finding like-minded people, being considered bitter because you can see the whole picture and it isn't always the fairy tale people want to believe in, being disappointed regularly by your peers because they are still very childish." -- Facebook user Meg Ash

19. "A lot of what mainstream society strives for seems silly." -- Facebook user Carolyn Dougharty

20. "Being surrounded by people (both loved ones and those I'm not too fond of) who refuse to or simply cannot see the other side of any given situation. I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language... It can be lonely being both logical and empathetic." -- Facebook user Felice Ford



21. "People come to me for sage advice, then choose not to take it... It's disheartening that I'm not taken seriously." -- Facebook user Cassie Stef

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This Simple Yoga Sequence Will Help Anyone Build More Balance

This one goes out to anyone who has experienced even the slightest instability during yoga class. Nothing wrecks a yoga flow -- or any exercise routine, for that matter -- more than feeling like you're going to fall over.

But fear not: The simple sequence of stability poses in the Udaya video above could be the key to fixing that.

LA-based instructor Casey Alyssa demonstrates the basic tools you need to build balance -- an important skill to have when engaging in any movement on and off the yoga mat. Bonus: The sequence also engages your core, making for a nice ab workout in the process. Soon you'll be on your way to better balance.

Find more yoga teachings at Udaya.com.

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Take a Pause: Find Your Why

We spend most of our lives running in circles. We are trained to get somewhere, going from here to there, infinitely climbing ladders, no matter what they look like, or where they'll take us. Many of us acquire impressive degrees in law, medicine, or business looking for a straight way up. We end up living lives that are not our own, married to individuals incompatible with us. We are taught the world's definitions of "success," before we learn to know ourselves.

As a result, we spend busy days moving endlessly and aimlessly: caffeinated, running full steam ahead, with no direction in sight. We check off never ending to-do lists, looking for a window of inspiration and validation, on our phone screens, email and news feeds. We listen to advice given by peers, neighbors, even strangers. We "follow" people we don't actually know. We imitate heroes unlike us, living dreams that are not our own.

The trouble is: we don't know what we truly want.

We rarely ask ourselves why:

• Why we do what we do.


• Why we wake up in the morning.


• Why it matters, to us, and to the world.

As Mark Twain stated, "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." Unfortunately, most people wait too long for this day. Far too many go through the motions of daily life, waiting for the weekend and working for retirement.

Perhaps this is why we have an alarmingly unmotivated workforce. 70 percent of U.S. workers are disengaged at work. 18 percent are actively disengaged and they are costing the U.S. an estimated "$450 billion to $550 billion in lost productivity." Picture now one, two, three thousands of humans sitting at their desks, in their offices, emotionally disconnected, living their life on automatic mode, in front of bright computer screens, poorly lit meeting rooms, confined in generic office spaces. Over the course of his lifteime, the average American worker will spend an average of 90,000 hours at work. This means he spends 90,000 hours without maximizing his or her true human potential: instead feeling discouraged, uninspired, sometimes depressed, or even lost, every weekday from 9 to 5, and sometimes longer.



Makes for a bleak scene, right?

I spent many years living a grey and uninspiring version of reality. I lived out an "accomplished," but dull experience. I did a lot. I worked hard. I received an Ivy League education and landed prestigious well paid jobs in the midst of a recession. Yet, I lived on automatic mode: waking up to numb feelings in the morning, spending hours sitting at a desk or meeting room, staring at a screen, just waiting for the weekend. I worked a number of jobs, performing meaningless tasks, surrounded by uninspired co-workers, in dimly lit office spaces, just to pay the bills. I was armored with an architecture degree, a masters in psychology, yet I woke up every day passively waiting for life to happen to me.

One day I realized I could turn it all around: I took personal responsibility and creative license over my own life. I decided to treat life as a design project, to craft the kind of reality that I actually wanted to experience. I stopped designing buildings, apps, or websites, and I began to design lives from the inside out. I started with my own. I turned off the noise and took a pause. I began a process of exploration and self inquiry, asking a number of profound questions to define my values and vision. I created a series of experiments to test ideas and hypotheses out in the world. I began to work with individuals and groups, applying design principles to their own lives.

I soon realized it was possible to transform the bland reality that is our 9 to 5 life, if only we can take a pause, look inside, and imagine what is possible for us to create. I founded Experiment on Purpose with a specific vision in mind: to see millions of individuals everywhere, wake up every single day feeling energized, eager to do the work they love. Imagine one, two, three.. thousands... and millions of individuals sitting, (standing, or walking) at their desks feeling inspired and alive, actively engaged in the process of crafting meaningful lives and careers, maximizing their potential, and feeling empowered to make an impact in their respective worlds, small or large. Imagine this version of reality.

Now, what would it take for us to all get there?



It's time that we start writing our own definitions of success.

But we need to take a pause.

First we have to stop, and find our why.



Join me for an ongoing series of articles and interviews to explore this possible version of reality together. We are researching best practices on life design: testing ideas in the ground through workshops, individual life-design, and public art projects. We are interviewing fifty professionals who are crafting radical careers from the inside out, and fifty experts in the fields of psychology, design, science, and business, who will give us insights and tools for maximizing human potential and designing improved work environments.

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Want a Lasting Relationship? Embrace This One Agreement

The other night I had dinner with a friend and she asked me about the agreements my husband and I had made when we decided our relationship would be different from anything either of us had ever had before.

Listening to her question, I was suddenly silent but then I remembered.

It was shortly after he and I had confessed our love to one another and were discussing our future.

"If we're going to be together it has to be totally different from anything we've ever had before," I'd offered. "So many relationships end up being about power or control and I don't want that anymore."

He'd agreed and added, "Most relationships are based on conditional love, too. The 'you only love me because.' Those end up being about tearing each other down."

"Can't there be another way? Another kind of relationship that lifts both people up?"

"Yeah," he replied, "but it has to be about God first and about honoring the God within each other."

Instantly I knew he was right. "That's it!"

So what exactly is that, honoring the God within each other?

A simple way to think about it is the Hindi greeting, Namaste, commonly used across India but also often spoken amongst yoga practitioners. Translated it means the divinity in me recognizes the divinity in you.

Honoring the God in one another is about appealing to the higher self in all of us, the one yearning to be seen, heard and acknowledged. It's about me rising into this space within myself and then seeing it in my partner and speaking to this aspect of him or her.

This kind of commitment is a relationship based on mutual love and respect.

It's wanting your partner to live her passion, and encouraging her to take leaps and risks when they feed her and move her toward fulfilling her dreams and happiness. It's giving your partner space to grow and evolve even if it means they leave you or aren't always there for you.

This actually recently played out in my intimate relationship.

In 2004, my husband and I started a business together. After working side by side for nearly a decade, I was ready to move on. I knew it was time for me to shift careers yet I felt bad about leaving him to run the business on his own.

He could have easily fed that guilty place in me and said things to trigger it. Then I would have stayed because I love him and because I felt obligated since we'd started the business together.

Instead, he encouraged me to leave.

He was excited about what I was doing and the new direction my life was taking. It meant his life got harder initially, because it took time to fill the void I left. But he never wavered in his support of my new venture.

Now, he's happier than ever and so am I. My shift allowed him to step more fully into roles that he had shied away from too.

He chose to remember our agreement of honoring the higher self in each of us, the God. He gave me both the room and the encouragement to follow my new path.

Change isn't always easy, especially in our intimate relationships. It causes us to shift too as we make room for the other person to unfold. Yet when we choose to honor each other and celebrate who we are, not only is it more fulfilling but energizing too.

Positive change brings new opportunities and enthusiasm, which can be contagious and inspiring. We all know how good it feels when we're in our flow. We are more alive, more present and more connected. Isn't that what we all want for ourselves and for our loved ones?

Shakti Sutriasa is the Founder of DecideDifferently.com, offering life coaching, counseling and workshops that combine modern psychology and spirituality. Shakti is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and has an MA in Education. To learn more Click Here

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What Choking Grown Men Taught Me About Life (And Business)

Talk is cheap when you're getting the life choked out of you by a grown man.

I guess that's the reason why I love jiu-jitsu. It's just so...honest.

The cool thing about BJJ is that unlike striking sports (boxing, muay thai, etc) you can spar with 100 percent intensity because the goal is to submit your partner by crushing chokes, vicious joint manipulations and an array of other equally terrifying submission techniques.

And BECAUSE you spar at 100 percent, you have to check your ego at the door.

There's no room for, "Bro if we were fighting FOR REAL...I would have dominated you" like there is in many other martial arts.

At the end of a five-minute round, you know very clearly where your weaknesses are.

When you tap out, you're essentially telling your partner, "If you hadn't stopped, I might have died."

It's simulated killing. It's honest.

One of the biggest takeaways jiu jitsu has given me is the idea of fighting through extremely frustrating situations.

For instance, I'd often try to land a choke on a more experienced opponent, and nothing seemed to be working.

I'm a strong guy. Pound for pound, maybe the strongest in my gym. But I just couldn't submit these guys. Even the ones who weighed 50lbs less than me. They seemed to just slip out of my grasp. Or worse yet, be completely unaffected by my offense as I put all 200lbs of my force into them.

As I struggled to complete a move, my instructor Gustavo would sit on the sideline and try to coach me through it.

"You have to insist. INSIST on the choke, Daniel."

I didn't really understand what he meant at first. I thought it was some weird Brazilian slang. Then one day, it clicked.

He meant that I didn't only need to execute the technical aspects of the move -- but that I also had to exert my WILL onto the opponent.

Insist that I was going to dominate the flow of the fight. Insist that I was going to finish the choke. Insist that my reality was stronger than that of the guy trying to defend against me.

Sometimes, this meant rolling on the ground in what appeared to be a stalemate for a few minutes as I just maintained my grip, waiting to tire the other person out. Sometimes it meant shifting into a steeper angle to get more leverage.

Many people get frustrated in the beginning when something they try doesn't work. So they give up, looking for an "easy attack." And I'm not just talking about jiu jitsu anymore. I'm talking about life.

But if you're going for victory, half-hearted starts and stops aren't enough. You have to insist. You have to go much further than just "doing your job." You have to put your WILL behind the submission. You have to know in your heart that you have the ability to pull it off, even if the world doesn't know it yet. You have to summon the heart of a lion.

Yes, there might be people out there who are stronger than you. Or richer than you. Or better looking. Or smarter. But do they want it as bad as you? Are they willing to put their lives on the line for what they believe in?

The majority of people are not. And that's why your ability to INSIST in the face of doubt is so important. So today, I want you to keep trying -- no matter how discouraged you get. You'll be amazed at the life you can lead when you stop looking for the easy way out of life's chokehold, and instead, persevere in spite of it.

*******

I hope you enjoyed that article!

If you're curious to know how I got started, and how you can begin your own journey to self- employment, you should enroll in my free mini-course on making more money. It'll take you step-by-step through the process of creating a new business using skills you already have.

Daniel DiPiazza is a martial artist, burrito fanatic and professional Netflixer who writes at Rich20Something.com -- where he shares practical tips to help you start a business you care about and live a happier life.

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Goddess Yoga Project: How To Build An Altar

A home altar is a physical representation of your personal spirituality. Creating one for yourself can be a meaningful step on your spiritual path. In this video, Sianna Sherman walks you through yoga’s five essential elements—earth, water, fire, air, and space—and how you can incorporate each into your sacred personal altar.

Want more Goddess Yoga knowledge and inspiration? Here are some of our favorite stories:
Goddess Yoga: Defeat Fear With Sword Breath
Goddess Yoga: 5 Heart-Opening Practices Dedicated to Lakshmi
Goddess Yoga: 3-Step Meditation To Inspire Intuition

The post Goddess Yoga Project: How To Build An Altar appeared first on Yoga Journal.

Goddess Yoga Project: How to Build An Altar

Sianna Sherman shares the 5 element needed in your personal or home altar.

See also How to Create an Inspirational Home Altar

The post Goddess Yoga Project: How to Build An Altar appeared first on Yoga Journal.

7 Types Of Toxic Friends You Need To Ditch

SPECIAL FROM Grandparents.com

It’s a universal—if sometimes painful—truth: Not every friendship is meant to last a lifetime. It’s also true that many of us stay in friendships long after we should’ve said adios. Why? Because we rationalize and deny that the relationship makes us feel “less than.” We make excuses for the other person when we should be giving her the boot.

Ask yourself: do any of my galpals resemble the following? If so, it’s time to move on.

1. No-Call Nancy
She’s got all the latest in technology, but when you ask if she got your three voice mails last week, she says casually, “Oh, I never check my messages.” Excuse me???

“Don’t waste your energy on someone who’s too flaky or unengaged to be in touch,” says Nicole Zangara, LCSW, author of "Surviving Female Friendships: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly." Hard to reach people mentally weigh each contact attempt. When the scale tips in their favor, they act. When it doesn’t, they ignore. Learn your lesson: When there’s nothing in it for her, she’s less likely to respond to you, which doesn’t a friend make.

2. Brutally-Honest Betty
She tells you you’re a doormat at work, because you complained once or twice about not feeling appreciated. You let it pass. But when she bitches about friends who use her and you suggest she might be too available, she turns on the waterworks and you end up apologizing. She can dish it out, but can’t take it. Not exactly fair. “If you find yourself always begging forgiveness, while she’s free to say whatever she thinks,“ says Zangara, ”it’s time to ask yourself why you’re willing to keep playing by her lopsided rules.”

3. Gossip Gloria
We all enjoy a juicy tidbit now and then, but this pal thrives on dishing dirt. Be very wary. “The more dirt she gathers on others,“ says Carole Lieberman, M.D., a psychiatrist in Beverly Hills, CA., “the more superior she feels and the more leverage she has over others.” For her, knowledge is power, power is control, and she’s got control in spades. No one messes with her. And neither should you. (And, BTW, if she’s gossiping about other people, chances are, she’s gossiping about you behind your back!)

4. Passive-Aggressive Annie
This is a tricky one, because it goes to the heart of intentions—nice or otherwise. Example: Your friend throws you a surprise party even though she knows you hate surprise parties. You spend the night trying to be gracious in spite of your discomfort. She, on the other hand, revels in her hostess role. When she asks the next day what your problem was, and you tell her, she brushes you off with those seven cloying words: “I was just trying to be nice!” Really? “This is about ownership,“ says Zangara. “True friends fess up when things don’t turn out well and they are partly or wholly to blame. Then, they apologize.” Plus, they also try harder to listen to what you like and don’t like.

5. Cancel-Plans Polly
The scenario is always the same: You make a plans for lunch or the movies and like clockwork she calls the night before or day-of with some excuse or another about needing to cancel. Every one of us has had to change plans at some point, but this friend makes it an Olympic sport. She may just be flaky, or she may be manipulative—either way, she isn’t thinking about how her actions affect anyone else. And if you’ve mentioned the problem and it still persists, this is what she’s really telling you: “Too bad, so sad; I’m sorry you’re mad!” It’s time to call it a day with the friendship.

6. Putdown Paulette
She makes little jabs and digs, often in front of others, assured you won’t mind the “all-in-good-fun” insults. This is her way of making herself feel better—certainly better than you. But what every good pal knows is this, the cardinal rule of friendship: Friends don’t ever, ever, ever put each other down. And friendship is never about a superior/inferior dynamic.

7. Crisis Cathleen
Her life is one long soap opera, a mess of disappointments, letdowns, heartbreaks, and sadness. You are the therapist, confidante, and problem solver. Only, she’s not really interested in changing for the better; she’s more invested in keeping the drama running and having you as her travel mate. Why? Her problems are always so horrible, they take precedence. Your problems? Oh, puh-lease!

What To Do?

• If you’re feeling assertive: Let your pal know what’s bothering you. Her response—and actions—will tell you if it’s time to move along.


• If you’re feeling passive: Pull back, make fewer plans, be polite but not overly friendly. (In other words, don’t be dishonest.)


• Either way: Cultivate new friends who make you feel enriched, enlivened and embraced, because that is what good friendships do.

Read more from Grandparents.com:
How to find an old friend
7 ways to get the emotional support you need from friends
How to cope with the death of a friend

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Agents of Change: 5 Forward Thinkers You Need To Know

They walk among us--those agents of change. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded of who they are. Take note of five luminous entities that strive to make the world a better place.

The F**k It Duo
Here's one to savor. They said F**k It to their jobs and moved to Italy years ago and in 2005, they created their first F**k It Retreat. Meet Mr. and Mrs. F**k It, John Parkin and Gaia Pollini (pictured above). Ten years have passed and since that time, the couple birthed the first F**k It Book ("F**k It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way"/ 2008/ Hay House). Additional F**k It literary siblings emerged. The books have been translated into 22 languages and have sold more than 400,000 copies. Workshops, retreats, one-on-one counseling, e-courses, and expanded F**k Its in London and Ireland have risen out of the fertile soil of the duo's F**k It imaginations. And then, in 2011, The Hill That Breathes (in Urbano, Italy), the fabulous F**k It locale, won Best European Retreat (Natural Health). The secret to this couple's undeniably unique success? F**k if I know. Well, I do. Somewhat. It's two words--and not those, by the way. It's these two: Let Go. Or, in this case, a more nuanced practice in the art of letting go by using a unique therapeutic tool: Profanity. Relax, it's not all swear words and then nirvana happens--not really. Although the couple's modality tends to lean toward being über fun if not laughter provoking. What was it a yogi once told me: "An anxious mind cannot exist in a relaxed body." The point is this: transformation may occur when you relax first, and then turn toward that thing you are so fretting over, breathe and embrace it--by saying F*** It of course. There's more to it, but you get the picture. Regardless, when you're on a mission to locate agents of change near and far, like I am, it's a treat to find these two doing so well, one F-Bomb at a time.




Lynne McTaggart and The Intention Experiment
McTaggart, a best-selling author, researcher and lecturer, is renowned for how well she creates a bridge between science and spirituality. Her books, "The Bond," "The Field," "What Doctors Don't Tell You," and "The Intention Experiment," each, on some level, rise beyond pedestrian trinket-acquiring "spirituality" and suggest that there is a more powerful field of energy within us and around us; that we are far more powerful and connected to each other than we were led to believe. But it's McTaggart's Intention Experiment which continues to draw significant interest. It finds the author/lecturer overseeing unique intentions en masse on the web, which have been called one of the largest mind-over-matter trials ever undertaken. By inviting like-minded souls together who can hold a singular vision for, say, peace in a certain region, can peace then be experienced in that region? That's the thrust behind the Intention Experiment--harnessing the intentions of thousands of participants on a specific topic. McTaggart first chronicled all this in her book of the same name, asking: "if we are connected, can our thoughts and intentions affect and change the world and things 'out there?'" Her compelling evidence suggests that the answer is, indeed, yes. Imagine then, what could happen if the entire populace of, say, New York City held a glorious intention for a set amount of time? What effect could that have? A powerful one me thinks.






Polish Heritage Festival, Belmont, California
Poland has been making major headlines over the last nine months. Where to begin? There's the country's surprising economic boom and recent election--conservative challenger Andrzej Duda defeated the incumbent, Bronislaw Komorowski. And lest we forget the significant anniversary markers in 2014 and 2015--the former commemorated the 75th anniversary of the German and Russian invasion of Poland, as well as the Katyn massacre; the latter the mass deportation of Polish citizens by Stalin. A number of Polish organizations have been paying tribute to their heritage as well as their fallen comrades over the last year especially, and while each year ushers in a crop of Polish festivals throughout the Bay Area, this year, for the first time, the Polish community is being asked to come together for a larger event to be held in Belmont, California. This will mark the first ever collaborative event organized by several Polish groups. Co-sponsors include Polish Society of California/PNA Lodge 7, The Polish Club, San Francisco, Łowiczanie Polish Folk Ensemble of San Francisco and The Polonian Cultural and Pastoral Center (PCPC) in Sacramento. There is also an emphasis on the importance of the Polish-American Congress, which strives to meet the challenges facing Polish-Americans. Dancing, Polish cuisine, history and much more are expected to converge at the May 30 outing, but what stands out significantly here is the solidarity emanating from the groups that are bringing the event to fruition, especially at a time when Poland is wonderfully newsworthy. Learn more here.



Village Yoga, Santa Cruz, California
As an author, travel writer and cultural moderator, I travel across the country for work on numerous occasions. I always make a point of dipping in to a yoga studio wherever I am. I have found some marvels in the likes of Bloomington, Indiana, and Kansas City, Missouri, and in an around California and then some. With thousands of yoga studios around the country, it's challenging to pick just one that stands out. But I did find one that flies to the top of the list for any summer travelers out there, and anyone who might be interested in knowing what makes a business really thrive. So, what makes this Bikram Yoga portal in Santa Cruz, California--a mecca town for yoga studios by the way--rise above the others? What about the popular Funky Door in San Francisco? Or Chicago's 105F, which offers a spirit-enhancing Gong Bath from time to time? Or any others for that matter? The answer rests in the title perhaps and, to me, it hearkens back to the old saying: "It takes a village." Founded by Sally Adams and Amy Mihal in early 2001--the two women had big followings at San Francisco's popular Global Yoga, founded by the remarkable Mary Jarvis--the studio has evolved into a vibrant mini community center on some level, with workshops, body work, coaching, nutrition, skin care and, well, plenty of yoga. Beyond its Bikram offerings, there are Vinyasa classes, as well as Yin/Restorative, a silent class and meditation. All that is good, however the main thing that stands out here is how well the owners nurture their clientele and, without much effort it seems, lure them in to participate in their ever-expanding enterprise that trickles back into the community. The works of local artists and photographers can often be seen on the walls. Locals are also invited to speak at workshops--think Oprah's Soul Sunday series in a more relaxed environment. Encouragement abounds. You feel it the moment you walk in the door. And let's face it, for any of us who are spiritually inclined and have done something like yoga or meditation, it doesn't take much to actually pick up on the vibe of a place. Good juju exists here and the ripple effects are felt outside the door. Fitting, because what was it I once heard? True yoga takes place off the mat. Here's to bending a little--or, in this case, a lot.



Robert Holden / Shift Happens
Folks may recall Holden's PBS special Shift Happens! or his two BBC-TV docs on happiness. An author of numerous books--"Happiness NOW!", "Shift Happens!", "Holy Shift!" and his latest "Life Loves You," co-written with "You Can Heal Your Life" maven Louise Hay, Holden's approach to living a more balanced, vibrant life has been well received, to say the least. His book "Shift Happens" morphed into a popular weekly Hay House Radio show, which has now attracted an impressive posse of motivational speakers and new thought agents--from Esther Hicks and Dorene Virtue to Norman Shealy and Caroline Myss. The intention here is offer listeners an opportunity to tap into their own power more fully and step into life in new ways, creating a remarkable transformation. Change they say, is not often easy, but for those us out there that want shift to occur, it's refreshing to know that we don't have to go at it alone. Here's to Holden's thoughtful approach and the impact it generates.

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